Moving over to my desk, I opened my laptop, set iTunes to randomly play my Favorite’s playlist, and then logged in. To the sound of Coldplay’s “Something Just Like This,” I reviewed the new notifications. Denied a friend request from someone I’d never heard of who had no photo. Made a comment on a coworker’s post.

I was scrolling past several recipe posts in my news feed when I thought of looking up Chris’s profile. It didn’t take long to pull up my email and find his address. A couple of clicks later, I was staring at his handsome face with those blue eyes and blond hair. At his parted lips stretched into a devilish yet inviting smile. I licked my lips at the dimple that drew me in, like a target.

Next to his photo, it said ‘Chris Berry.’ I wanted to laugh…maybe even cry. Because for some stupid reason, I started thinking it wouldn’t be so bad as an adult to be called Holly Berry.

I couldn’t deny it. I was lovestruck. But was that possible in such a short time?

Behind his profile photo was a winter landscape that looked like the woods. There was a stark contrast between the white ground and sky and the bare, black trunks and branches in the foreground with a black lane curving off into the distance between the trees. It was hauntingly beautiful.

My eyes kept jumping back to his on the screen. At the depth the camera had captured, just like in the black-and-white photo of the trees. I gulped and shifted in my chair. The mouse pointer moved across the page, changing to the pointing hand whenever I crossed over a link. It settled on the ‘More…’ button then the option for Notes.

I sat back. There were more notes than I’d ever seen, and they were all surveys. Random questions about every day things. Specific themes on personal experiences like whether or not you had visited a state or seen a movie. Some were quite short while others were more lengthy, although all seemed to have Yes/No answers, or simple one-word answers like ‘red’ as your favorite color.

My heart beat a little faster while I read one note after the other. Some I just skimmed, while others I thoroughly covered from top to bottom. I discovered more about Chris than I ever expected to. He had been right…one could learn so much from a survey, anonymous or not. Damn him.

I was deep into the posts dating back three to four years when I noticed the heading THE NAUGHTY LIST in all-caps on one of them. Once more, I hesitated. I scrolled past, not really seeing the words on the screen while I tapped my index finger on top of the mouse. With a loud sigh, I went back and clicked on the note.

At first glance, it looked just like another survey. A list of questions that pertained to a more sexual nature, but otherwise, quite harmless. The more I read, though, the more I began to doubt that analysis. Especially after seeing his answers. And I couldn’t help thinking of my own.

THE NAUGHTY LIST

Answer honestly, but it’s all in good fun! Don’t forget to copy and paste as a new post.

* Have you lost your virginity? Yes (yep)

* Do you like to masturbate? Yes (well, duh, what guy doesn’t? I’m not ashamed to say I do, too)

* Do you like to watch porn? No (never tried)

* Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? No (we were drunk…)

* Have you ever intimately touched someone of the same gender? No (does on top of shirt count?)

* Have you ever had sex with a partner of the same gender? No (no…no, I’d never have gone that far )

* What is your favorite position? Girl On Top (missionary)

* Do you like receiving oral sex? Yes (who doesn’t?)

* Do you like giving oral sex? Yes (not really)

* Do you spit or swallow? N/A (ick! spit)

* Do you like anal sex? No (thank God!)

* Do you prefer a bald or natural pussy? Bald (true, smooth is nicer, despite the upkeep)

* Which is better to grip: hips, shoulders, ass, or tits? All of the above (God bless you, man)

* Do you like your hair pulled? Yes (um…that sounds painful, so no)

* Do you like to pull hair? Yes (if I wouldn’t want it done to me…)

* Do you like dirty talk during sex? Not usually (ditto)

* Do you like to call your partner derogatory names? No (right on)

* Do you like to be called names by your partner? No (I like this guy)

* Do you like to be spanked? No (people do that intentionally?)

* Do you like to spank? Yes (seriously? you can’t take what you dish out?)

* Do you spank openhanded? Yes (like a kid getting punished?)

* Do you spank over the knee or just bent over? OTK (thanks, now I have an image of a woman laying ass-up in a guy’s lap)

* Do you like your partner to use their teeth? Sometimes (to do what?)

* Do you like anal play? Yes (what is that?)

* Do you like orgasm denial or edging? Yes (how cruel)

* Do you prefer to be in control? Usually (of what?)

* Do you prefer to submit? Rarely (what does that mean?)

* Do you like inflicting pain? Sometimes (okay, maybe I should stop here)

* Do you like receiving pain? No (uh, yeah, stop reading Holly)

* Do you like to hear your partner scream? Yes (…)

* Do you like blindfolds? Yes (oh, that’s not so bad. maybe)

* Do you like handcuffs? Yes (I could get on board with that one)

* Do you like Shibari? Yes (Shi-what?)

* Do you like nipple clamps? Yes (double ouch! and double no!)

* Do you like flogging? Yes (is this list in order of less to more pain? geesh)

* Do you like riding crops? Yes (that would be a no)

* Do you like caning? No (definitely not)

* Do you have any genital piercings? Yes (hell n— what the hell has he got pierced??)

* Would you fuck the person who sent you this list? No (oh…um…well…I think so, but…uh)

I blinked at the computer monitor, my heart racing so fast I could hear the blood pumping through my ears. And if I wasn’t mistaken, my pussy was throbbing. What the hell?

###

“You haven’t moved in a long time, Holly.”

Chris’s voice made me shriek and jump up from the desk, banging my knee. I spun around, panting. “Y-you scared me!”

Instead of apologizing, he silently made his way over to where I stood rubbing my leg.

My eyes drifted from his damp hair down to his chest. His bare chest, where water droplets still clung in places. When I followed the defined lines of his abdomen and met the waistband of his jeans with his buckled belt, I groaned.

The clean scent of soap drifted up to my nose. My legs wobbled. I reached back to hold onto the edge of the desk and heard his slight hiss when the action pushed my chest out.

He glanced at the computer and then back at me, one corner of his mouth twitching. When he raised his hand, my body trembled. His fingers lightly brushed at my forehead then down my cheek, sending goosebumps prickling across my arms and a shiver racing down my back straight to my pussy. My exhale was shaky.

“Stealing my own trick?” His voice was so soft, I had to lean toward him to hear him better. “Did you find any interesting tidbits about me?”

I gulped, glancing down. But that put my line of sight directly where it shouldn’t be.

“Hmm? Holly?”

I closed my eyes. He could see the evidence himself. Why did I need to say it out loud? Oh, why had I convinced him to stay?

My eyelids flickered open at the feeling of his fingers under my chin, tilting it up. I let out a soft whimper when he moved a step closer, his body touching mine now. Thighs against thighs, chest to chest. His hand slipped across my jaw, his fingers wrapping under and around my ear.

“Are you turned on, Holly?”

My entire being froze at the intimate question, and my eyes opened wider. I imagined it was what a deer felt like when met with the headlights of a car. Fight or flight? Fight or flight? Fight or—

“Your pulse is racing.” Chris’s gaze intensified—if that was possible—when he brushed his thumb across my cheekbone. I whimpered louder. He tilted his head, that dimple popping out, drawing my focus to it…to his lips which parted again. “I wonder…what did you think of my answers? Were you answering for yourself while you read it?”

My tongue slipped out and licked my lips at the thought of some of those questions. Or rather, how he’d responded. I had questions of my own about some of them, but I didn’t have the guts to voice them. I found I could blink, although very slowly. That I could breathe again. And then my brain told me that the reason I was all relaxed was probably because he was still caressing my cheek with the lightest touch, his palm warm against my neck.

“I remember…” he said, pausing to lick his own lips, “that you don’t like to be teased. That’s a shame. A lot of fun can be had. But I don’t want to upset you.”

Before I could process his words, his mouth descended on mine, cutting off my gasp, muffling my moan while his hand pulled my head closer. My hands gripped the edge of the desk harder until his other arm snaked around my back and pulled me upright.

He supported me, his lips caressing mine. His fingers flexing at the base of my skull, his thumb still sweeping back and forth across my cheek. His tongue coaxed until I released my jaw.

Then I was gripping his arms, holding on for dear life while he invaded my mouth, luring my tongue to join his in a sultry dance. My hair suddenly fell around my face, and I realized he’d released it from the braid.

“I like it down,” he said lowly, gently tugging on a section so that my head tilted back before he devoured my lips once more.

I arched against him, whimpering when his knee pressed between my thighs. My mind was hazy, and it occurred to me that I was rocking my hips. Trying to increase the pressure. It felt so damn good, tears filled my eyes.

Suddenly, he scooted me around the side of the desk until my back pressed against the wall. He moved my right arm to hook behind his neck before resting his left forearm beside my head. I clenched my eyes when his other hand left my back and settled on top of my sweater…over my breast.

Through my moans, I heard him encouraging me while I humped him, my other arm dropping to hang limply by my side.

“That’s it, Holly.” He was panting now. “Let go.”

“No,” I muttered when his hand released me. But I choked out a cry when it slipped under my sweater and cupped my bare breast. Then I sucked in my breath between my teeth when his thumb grazed over my nipple….when he pinched it.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, his voice close to my ear. “You’ve been neglected. Your true self can be revealed when you’re most vulnerable. Like when you’re sleeping. You may think it’s just harmless ramblings. But dreams are usually spawned by your subconscious. Things you have heard and seen. What you fear. Desire. Even without realizing it. When one who is attuned to certain aspects beyond some physical acts, simple words put into the right context make perfect sense.”

I mewled like a kitten. His voice was intoxicating—filling my head, making me lightheaded—while the gentle strokes of his hands and fingers deepened the spell he was weaving over me.

“Do you have dreams about having sex, Holly? Is that why you murmur words like ‘more’ and ‘harder’ and ‘please’ while writhing in the sheets? Whimpering when the vision in your mind stops touching you? Doesn’t bring you to release?”

I rolled my head away from him. My whole body was on fire now, and not just from arousal. I couldn’t believe I’d said those things. That he’d heard them. Understood them.

“I aim to rectify the situation.” His tongue and lips played at the heated skin of my exposed throat, his hand massaging and squeezing my breast harder. “First, I’m going to make you come just like this.”

A deeper moan escaped at those words. I’d never been happier that I wasn’t wearing panties…that I always took the time to shave and keep my pussy smooth. The way my jeans rubbed against my skin and the added pressure of his thigh drove me wild.

I tried not to think of wanting his tongue…his fingers…his cock inside of me. I tried to concentrate on just the feeling of him holding me. Kissing me. Stoking the fire between my own legs.

His hand abandoned my breast and slipped behind me again, caressing the small of my back.

The music changed to Imagine Dragons’ “Whatever It Takes,” and I arched further, pressing my chest to his. The words…the beat… I’d been addicted to the song the minute I’d downloaded it the other night. Pulling my right arm toward me, I gripped his neck tighter.

“Mmm.” His hand clamped down on my hip and helped rock me against him. His fingers dug into me through my jeans, making me hiss from the sensations spinning through me.

My eyes still closed, I focused on listening to our combined labored breathing in competition with the song. Feeling his hand guiding me, drawing me further up his leg while he moved it up and down to match my rhythm. Helping me hump him. His erection pressed against my other thigh. I flung my left arm around his neck and held on, silently begging for the building urgency to be released.

Chris pressed his forehead against mine, his breath hot across my cheek. He growled suddenly. “Come for me, Holly.”

Just when I thought I wouldn’t make it there, his hand slid up and gripped my breast again, almost painfully. I rolled my head against his supporting arm and ground down harder on his leg. My eyes flew open as a cry spewed from my mouth, my arms releasing him while my body shuddered between him and the wall.

“That’s it. Good girl.”

His words buried in my addled brain, making me whimper. The next thing I knew, he was carrying me to the bed. Lifting my sweater off me. Undoing and lowering my pants.

I heard his low growl at revealing my lack of panties. And then my own purr when his hands spread my bare thighs wide. When his arms wrapped under and around them before his mouth covered my pulsating pussy.

I could no longer think. His tongue…it was…magical. Licking me in all the right places. Making me tremble and call out his name. My head rolled back and forth on the bed, my hands clenching and releasing the sheets.

“Come for me again, Holly,” he grunted before diving back in. His tongue teased my entrance before sliding inside.

My hips lifted, and he held me up while he twisted that knot inside of me tighter and tighter with each flick at my clit and stroke down through my swollen lips.

Suddenly, I was on that edge. I reached down and buried my fingers in his hair to keep him right where he was. He growled his understanding. Somehow, he increased his ministrations. And then, I was falling over, my body thrashing on the bed.

###

“Are you okay, Holly?”

I heard his words, but I didn’t open my eyes. I just hummed and gave an almost imperceptible nod. I tried to breathe evenly from the position I’d curled into on my side after I came down from my second release. I feared that any more movement would break the spell and prove I had dreamt it all.

The bed shifted when Chris laid down behind me. His thigh touched the back of mine. His naked thigh. A shudder ran through me. It intensified when his hand skated along my body from my leg and up to cup my breast.

I couldn’t stop my hips from arching back. Or the strangled cry when the length of his cock pressed against my ass. I clenched my eyes at the sound of his low groan and struggled to resist rocking again.

“I know this is all kind of sudden. I hadn’t planned on this,” he murmured in my ear before he kissed me there. His fingers played over my nipple at the same time then stilled. “Do you want me to stop?”

I fought my conscience for the briefest moment before managing to say, “No…please.”

“There’s just something about you.” He nuzzled my neck, and I sighed when his fingers moved again. “I want to make love to you. But…”

I held my breath. But what? I’d just told him not to stop. Did I also have to tell him aloud that I wanted his mouth on mine again? His hands everywhere all at once? That I wanted his cock buried deep within me while we were mindlessly writhing in tangled limbs? Fucking me until…

Until when, Holly? Until you can forget about what has happened this week? That your dad is lying in a hospital bed on Christmas Eve, and your mom is home alone? Then what? The sex can only disguise the pain for so long. And your history for keeping men around after traumatic events isn’t exactly stellar.

I know that.

Do you? Must I remind you about your chem lab partner, Grant, freshman year at the university? You pledged Greek because he was in a frat and he showed you attention. You even gave him your virginity, only to be dumped when the sorority didn’t accept you. Or Parker, your boss at your first job…at the bookstore? He showered you with compliments until he’d sweet-talked you into staying late after work. You ended up shagging in his office a few times. But when you refused to blow him in the stock room during business hours, he gave your promised promotion to Jill and made your life a living hell until you were forced to quit.

Stop it.

Let’s not forget the Big One. Just this Halloween at the conference center? When your boyfriend Jason, the personal trainer from work, showed up with a client named Tina…wearing the same couples’ costume you’d proposed but he’d shot down? He’d claimed you’d agreed to be in an open relationship. You’d been too drunk to ask the guy in the Dracula costume what his name was. You just went along with him when he suggested you go up to his hotel room. Revenge sex can be sweet…but only if the person you’re trying to hurt cares about you in the first place.

Don’t—

The sex was great…what you could remember of it. But you were left with his room bill the next morning. And just to twist the knife even more, Jolie came home from work the next weekend and introduced you to Dirk…aka Dracula, her childhood crush who had moved back to town. The same guy who looked you in the eyes without blinking while you stood face-to-face in your apartment, your roommate gushing about how it had to be fate that they were back together again. Almost two months later, and you still haven’t told her because you’d rather let him continue to disrupt your life day-in and day-out than admit you had a one-night stand and find another roommate. He still owes you $125. Or maybe he considers it services rendered in some backwards way.

That’s not fair.

You’re torturing yourself. Don’t do it with this guy, too. You’re the one who will get hurt in the end.

I frowned. This is completely different. I know his name. I didn’t just jump into bed with him. Chris isn’t Dirk…or Parker or Grant or any of the others. I—

I could practically hear my conscience laughing at me.

Really? Yeah, he’s easy on the eyes and is very talented with his tongue. But that list? Woo wee! That only spells trouble.

“Holly?” Chris gently turned my chin toward his. “Please don’t cry. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

I blinked and realized there were tears in my eyes. I rolled over the rest of the way to face him, curling my body against his. Sighing when his arms wrapped around me.

He put one hand behind my head, holding it to him. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

How could I explain the train wreck in my head? Did I even want to try? Maybe those other thoughts were right. I should just let him walk away before either of us gets hurt. I sighed again. “It’s not you…”

His grumble made his chest vibrate against mine. “Don’t even finish that sentence.”

“I just…I’m not good with guys. Relationships. Or rather, they’re not good with me. I’m fucked up.”

“Shh. We’re all flawed. Me, included. And people fail all the time. That’s how they learn. Some just take longer than others. So what if you’ve had a few bad relationships? They weren’t right for you. Not that I’m saying this will be, but it’s good so far. Just give it a chance, okay?”

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