THE SUBSTITUTE
First let me introduce myself. I am a 22 year-old collage Junior, majoring in Physical Education. I am a senior diver on our dive team, as well as a National Swimming champion with the ability to make it onto the United States Olympic Swim/Dive team. I am 6’ 3 ½” of pure lean muscle with a six pack that Bud Light would pay money to advertise. Everyone that knows me calls me Swim, ever since I started swimming and diving at a young age. It really seems to fit since it is basically my initials, Steven William Mathews.
To start my story, I have to go back several months to pre-season training.
We start to train for diving competitions about 4 months before the first meet. So it is February, a sort of mild winter for Oregon, and I am learning a new level 5 competitive dive. It is the hardest dive at our competitive level, including a full layout twist with a double pike spinning tuck from the 50 foot platform. This is the dive that will get me to the Olympic level.
We stopped for lunch, and some of the guys decided it would be fun to run outside in the cold weather in our Speedos. Always up for a challenge, I agreed to tag along. Well, to make a long story short, one of the younger freshmen on the team left the door slightly open when he went out. So as I was running back in, some of the water on the side of the pool was slightly frozen, and well…down I went. I did not break anything, thank God, but I did however tear my right quad muscle. I had to wear a half thigh cast for about 8-10 weeks.
So I was in a pretty serious relationship with a girl since we were freshman, and we had a very active sex life. Kamerun was on the track and field team, and was quite toned. Kami, as I called her while in the throes of passion, loved to ride me, chest to chest, while I sat on the bench of my weight set. With the plaster cast on my thigh, this caused a problem, she complained because it rubbed her ass and inner thighs raw from the fiction. After trying several different positions, it was either painful for me, or her, so she called it quits on the fucking until my cast came off. This kind of pissed me off, since I was used to getting it on at least once every day.
Kamerun would still come over and hang out quite often, but all we did was study or watch DVD’s. I was getting very sexually frustrated, and Kamerun was turning into a real bitch. After a particularly stressful day, Kamerun was acting like the spoiled rich brat that she was, and I asked her if she was PMSing. She yelled, “FUCK YOU, SWIM!!” and slammed the door on her way out. Now I lived in the dorms, and shared my room with a 20 year old freshman named Mitchell. Mitch was an architectural major who was also on the college baseball team. We got along fairly well, but didn’t really hangout outside of the dorm. This particular day, he happened to come home just as Kamerun slammed out of our room.
“You must have really fucked up bro, she nearly ran me over!” Mitch laughed. “Yeah,” I said, “I used the three letter word.” “Huh!” Mitch asked confused. I replied, “PMS!!” “Damn bro, you must be a glutton for punishment.” Since I was so pissed off myself, I just blurted out, “well she won’t fuck me anyway, I ain’t had a good orgasm for weeks.”
Mitch totally looked stunned. “Sorry bro, it’s my problem.” As I started to turn the TV on, I got the shock of my life. “I can help you with that, if you want.” I just stared at Mitch for a minute. Now let me just say “straight” out, that I am 100% heterosexual. Mitch was a couple inches shorter than me, but with a very similar athletic body. Since Mitch was a toe head, you could barely see his body hair, so it looked like he had none. He wore his blond hair rather long in the front, and shorter in the back, making it fall over his face. I guess you could call him attractive, but I really did not know much more about him. “Fuck Mitch, I am sooo not gay. You’re on your way to getting your ass beat!” “Hey, let me explain. I am bi, not gay, first of all. And just think of it as a mouth to suck you, and an ass to fuck. It would not be any different if your girlfriend was doing it. It would not make you gay, or even bi, you’d be just a guy getting the best blow job of his life.” Well, I did not know what to think. Could he be right? Could it be that easy, to just close my eyes and think he was Kami?
“I just don’t think I could do it.” I said. Mitch started toward me, and sat next to me on my bed, “look, you don’t even have to look at me, I can give you one helluva blow job, and I will let you fuck my ass, I can face away from you so you would not even see me.” Mitch reached for my fly, and I started to jerk away. “Just try it, if you want to stop, I will stop.” So I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall. Mitch slowly started to take my jeans off. “STOP!” I hollered, “not on my bed dude.” So I got up to go to his bed, letting my jeans fall. Mitch slowly rubbed his hand along the bulge in my boxers, gradually applying more pressure. I was trying hard to forget a dude was about to suck my rod. Suddenly Mitch yanked my boxers down, and flicked his tongue across the head of my 7 ½” cut cock. It rose to attention immediately; at least my prick did not care if it was a male or female mouth. Mitch started slowly twisting his tongue around the length of my shaft, up and down, as I rested back against the wall. Mitch continued, wrapping his lips around my pink head, and in one swift movement, he had all 7 ½” in his throat. I could not help but release a moan, he was right about one thing, it was the best blow job I’ve ever had, so far at least. As he bobbed up and down, he grazed his teeth along the sensitive tissue of my prick, cause me to nearly blow my wad right then. Then he engulfed me entirely, and sort of moaned, causing his throat to vibrate on my dick. “Oh fucking shhhiiitttt” I screamed, “I’m gonna blow bro.” With that I had the most explosive orgasm in my life.
I just fell against the wall, panting, trying to catch my breath, afraid to open my eyes and see who just blew my mind, when I felt Mitch’s hand stroking my dick. I soon realized he was applying lube, and preparing for an ass fuck. Before I could catch my breath to speak, Mitch planted his tight ass over my prick, and bottomed out on me, I felt my dick hit his prostate. “Oh my fucking, my fucking ohhhh yeah!” I stuttered, as he rose up, and slammed down again. Not wanting to touch him sexually, I grabbed his hips like I would Kami’s, and began ramming into his tight hole. After about ten minutes of hard fucking, I felt my ball sack tightening up, getting ready for release, suddenly, string after string of thick cum shot up into Mitch. He moaned as I felt his ass cheek tighten, guessing that he was blowing his wad as well. “Fuck dude,” I said shoving him off of me, “don’t fucking ever cum on me again, or I may have to fuck you up, understand, you offered to help me, I did not promise to return the favor!” Mitch turned around to clean his self off, “dude, I am sorry, but I have never been fucked like that before, and I just could not hold it.”
I really did not know what to think about what just happened. I knew I was not gay, far from it, but I just had the best blow job, and the best fuck of my life. The orgasm I had the second time almost caused me to pass out. I tried to tell myself it was just because it had been so long since I had one that it had just been building. Yeah, that was it. We ignored each other the rest of the night, and I had a little trouble falling asleep. In the morning, I had a plan all worked out.
“Mitch,” I said, “I’ll make a deal with you man. I need sex, and Kamerun will not do anything right now because my cast hurts her. It did not seem to bother you, so here is my plan. I will let you continue to suck me, and I will continue to fuck you as much as you want, but I will never look at you, and I will never touch you except to your hips to gain momentum. And never under any circumstance are you to try to kiss me, I will fuck you up. And if you so much as utter a single word of this to anyone, I’ll fucking kill you. Got it! I AM NOT GAY!!” Mitch sat for a moment, contemplating my proposal. “Alright bro, it was the best fuck I ever had last night, even if you do not want to hear it, I WILL enjoy being your substitute fuck.”
So, that is how the next 7 weeks went. We still did not really see each other outside of the dorm, but it seemed we both suddenly felt the need to be in the dorm more and more. As I got more familiar with Mitch’s ass, it was easier and easier to fuck him. “Swim, how much longer until the cast comes off,” Mitch asked as I walked into the room after my latest doctor’s appointment. “About 2 more weeks, I can’t wait.” I set my books on the desk, flopped into the chair, tossing my crutches to the floor, and leaned back, closing my eyes. “You look stressed, I think I can help,” said Mitch, kneeling before me and beginning to rub my crotch. My pulse suddenly quickened, causing my heart to beat rapidly. I could not understand the feelings I have been having when having sex with Mitch; after all, he was just a substitute, not really like a guy at all. To me, he was just any other girl giving me head; just another tight ass to fuck. “Uuughhhh”, I moaned as my dick was engulfed in a warm, wet mouth. “Fuckin yea, that’s it, deeper; stick it in your throat.” I felt the vibrations from his throat before I heard his moan; that, I think, is my favorite thing. Mitch slid my hard prick completely out of his mouth, and focused just on the tip. He had this way of sticking the tip of his tongue in my slit, Kamerun never did that. “OOOHHHH yea, oh fucking yea, that’s it,” I cried, in complete ecstasy. Then Mitch went nose deep to my shaved base, scraping his teeth along the way down. It seemed Mitch was trying harder than ever to pleasure me, as he began sucking, drawing hard, like on a straw. I knew I couldn’t hold back much longer. Mitch rubbed on my balls, just before taking one and then the other into his mouth. That did it, I felt my balls tighten, preparing to squirt. I pushed Mitch off of me, turning him around. He yanked his shorts down, and bent over. I shoved my dick up, as he came down, going balls deep into his ass. This first orgasm created the lube we needed to keep going.
Since I could not stand on my leg, the only way I have ever fucked his ass was with him sitting on me. I was particularly horny today. I had talked with Kameron after class today. She is looking too damn good to me. I wondered if she is being faithful to me all this time. After all, it is not like I am cheating on her, Mitch is just her substitute.
I grabbed his ass with both hands, braced my left foot on the corner of the desk, and started rocking my hips harder. The harder I rammed into Mitch’s ass, the harder I wanted to. I could hear him moaning louder than ever, almost sounding like he was in pain. At this point I did not care; all I cared about was fuck as hard as I could. As I felt my ball tightening for the second time, I pulled all the way out to the tip. I slammed into his ass as hard as I could in my position, shooting several ropes of cum deep in his ass. “FUCK,” Mitch cried as he pulled off my still hard cock. I noticed he was holding his dick with both hands. “Sorry bro, I could not help it this time,” Mitch said brokenly. He looked like he was about to cry. As I started to ask why, I looked down and seen what he was talking about. “Shit dude. Clean it off, NOW” I said, looking at his thick strings of cum on my shoe.
“I am really sorry Swim, I could not help it, the way you rammed my prostate. Unless you have been fucked in the ass, you just don’t understand how it feels,” Mitch almost cried. “It’s alright, just clean it off. Forget it happened.” I said. After he cleaned it off, he asked if I had enough, or if I wanted more. “Naw, I’m good.” We watched TV for a while, then I went to bed.
I woke the next morning feeling like I did not sleep at all. Something was bothering me, but I could not figure out what it was. Mitchell went home for the weekend, Kamerun was at an out of state track meet, so I was alone for the first time for the entire weekend. I tried watching TV, played the Wii, but continued to be restless all weekend long. I was never really one to masturbate, but I thought it would relieve my stress so I gave it a shot. I started out watching a little porn on the computer. That just didn’t work, so I concentrated on Kamerun, and how it felt having her suck me. I pictured her tight ass, her smooth, soft cunt. She really liked when I tongue fucked her cunt. I have to say, it was working. My prick tightened as the blood rushed to it suddenly. Slowly my tongue slid in and out, flicking over her love bud, cause her to scream in ecstasy. I began to stroke myself harder, faster, my pre cum lubing the way. I ease up her flat abs making my way to her B cup breasts. I’m getting harder, my head becoming more sensitive. I lick her taunt nipples, kneading her breast as I suck. She moans in pleasure. I slowly slide my dick into her wet puss. She know how I like it, so she tightens her pussy around me. Wait, what was happening, my dick started to soften, damn, I never really liked this. I open my eyes, and they fall on Mitch’s bed. My dick suddenly swells to the max, a couple more yanks, and I am blowing my wad. I just did not understand.
I tried to put it out of my mind. When the week started, life continued as it had the last couple months. We had finals, and had 3 days left of the term. I went to my doctor, and was pleased when he removed my cast. “A few weeks of therapy, and you’ll be back to normal activity, it repaired itself nicely,” Dr. Weston said. I went back to the dorms, and was surprised that Mitchell was not there. I changed my Speedo, and covered them with shorts, thinking I would head to the pool. As I was preparing to leave, I heard Mitch unlocking the door. I decided to surprise him, so I sat and tossed my towel over my right thigh. Mitch comes in the door and sees me sitting there. “Dude, guess what, my parents are taking me to Hawaii for two weeks. I leave Saturday, stay at home for a week, then fly to Hawaii for two weeks, then back home for a week before I come back to campus.” Mitch was very excited. I said, “Guess what, I have news of my own, tada…” I said as I stood up and flung the towel aside. “Alright, you got your case off.”
“Yeah dude, I was just heading to the pool, wanna go?” I asked a stunned Mitch. “Sure.” We left and headed to the pool. As I climbed on the small dive board, I flexed showing off all my muscles. Just as I dove in, I saw Mitch staring at me with a sort of lost look. We spent a couple of hours at the pool swimming, or rather I was showing off while Mitch watched. When we returned to the dorm, as we changed, Mitch asked if I told Kamerun that my cast was off. “No, not yet, she is at a track meet today, so I thought I’d surprise her tomorrow.” “Well,” Mitch started, looking down, “how about we try out that newly healed muscle, just for a last hoorah.” I thought a moment, then thought what the hell, I’ll show him what I can really do. I pulled my Speedo’s off, and tossed them aside. Instinctively, Mitch dropped face first onto his bed, sticking his ass in the air. Mitch tossed me the KY, and propped himself up with his hands on the bed. Already quite stiff, I quickly lubed up. I grabbed his ass cheeks, and slammed full force into his awaiting ass. Not stopping, I continued to slam him over and over. (Now if you ever lived in a dorm, you know the beds are a narrow twin size, not the perfect size for someone over 6 feet.) “Holy shit fuck Swiiimm,” Mitch yelled as his head rammed into the wall behind his bed. I slowed long enough for him to move his hands to the wall. “Ugh, ugh, ugh, ughhhhhh, oh-fuck-my-fuck-God. I-I-I- can’t stop it, I’m gonna fucking cum.” screamed Mitch. I tried to ignore him, but it was getting harder and harder to, the louder he groaned. As my balls slammed into his with every thrust, I felt his balls tighten. “AAHHHHH,” Mitch screamed as he came, squirt after squirt on the bed and wall. I continued to fuck him, feeling myself getting closer and closer. Up until now, I have managed to stay quiet, but that was ‘cumming’ to an end. As I am nearing my climax, I pull all out preparing a final thrust. To my surprise, Mitch twisted and dropped to his knees, catching my thrust with his mouth. “Holy fucking shit,” I grunted as I blew string after string of cum deep into his throat. I blew so much cum, he could not swallow all of it. My cum ran out of the side of his mouth as I withdrew. I stared down at him as he used the end of his tongue to catch the cum. I almost blew again.
We did not say anything to each other the rest of the night. The next day, I took Kamerun out to the pool for a swim. Kami wore a new black and white striped bikini that left nothing to the imagination. She said she bought it just to celebrate my cast coming off. She did look hot, smoking hot. I saw the way the other guys at the pool stared at her. Some of the guys wolf whistled as we left the pool. “Don’t strain that muscle dude.” “Don’t waste all his energy Kamerun, we need him for the competition this weekend.” the guys laughed as we walked out. “Let’s go to my dorm, Tina is gone for the week.” So we went back to Kami’s dorm. “I’ve been waiting for this,” Kami said as she unlocked her door. As I shut the door, I grabbed Kami and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Damn, I thought, I missed kissing. I quickly rid her of her bikini, and picked her by her ass. I carried Kami to her bed. “Damn girl, it seems like forever, since I had you.” She tightened her legs around my waist as I lowered to the bed. “Then ‘cum’ and get me big boy.” With that, I deepened the kiss, shoving my tongue into her waiting mouth. I slid my hand down her side slowly, grazing her breast along the way. “Touch me,” she moaned. “Gladly,” I said as my hand cupped her ass. I kneaded her ass as I grinded my dick into her softness. I broke the kiss, and kissed my way down her beautiful neck, across her sexy collar bone, and licked a line between her firm tits. “Oh yes, yes, Swim, that’s it,” Kami moaned. I traced a line up one tit, and circled her taunt nipple before drawing it into my mouth. I knew what she liked, and was trying to make up for the last months. As I sucked on her nipple, I slid my hand down her thigh. As her moans of pleasure increased, I slid my hand slowly up to her already moist cunt. “You like it baby, you want my finger?” I asked her as I stuck my finger up her cunt. “Yeessss,” she hissed, “yes, stick it in me deeper.” I did as she asked, and slowly lowered to her flat stomach, kissing my way down. “Oh God, Swim, eat me, lick me, oh God suck me,” she begged. “As you wish,” I said as I flicked my tongue across her clit. I licked her, running circles around her clit with my tongue. Her moans increased, I knew she was getting close to an orgasm. I plunged my tongue deep into her cunt, and pulled back out. I traced my tongue from her ass all the way to her clit, before thrusting into her cunt again, just as she had her first orgasm. “Baby, please fuck me now, fuck me now,” Kami pleaded. “As you wish,” I said as I shoved my cock in her cunt. Now I have never had an issue getting hot. I never had to stop because I could not get it up. But I suddenly found myself only semi hard. I pumped her several more times, and still nothing. “What’s wrong Swim,” asked Kami as she panted. “I guess it has just been too long, maybe I need a minute.” I stated. “Let’s fuck like we usually do, maybe that will help,” she suggested sounding a little frustrated. So I sat on her vanity bench, and Kami came over and knelt down. “This may help some also,” she said, licking my dick. As she began to give me a blow job, my prick began to firm up. As she took most of my dick in her mouth and started bobbing, I grab the back of her head and pushed balls deep into the throat. As she gagged and tried to raise up, I held her in place a moment longer as the vibrations from her throat felt better than ever. “Fuck you Swim, you know I don’t like to deep throat, you asshole.” Kami yelled. “I’m sorry, just fuck me.” I said. With her already lubed from her orgasim, she lower herself on my now very hard dick. “That’s it, fuck me harder,” I moaned to her. I grabbed a tit in my mouth and sucked, nipping at it a little. Kami moaned in pleasure, as that was what she liked. I grabbed her hips and begun to meet her thrusts with my own. We were really getting into it hot and heavy. Our moans and groans were just adding to the pleasure. “Let’s try a different way,” I asked as she orgasmed for the second time, still I had not. “How,” she asked breathless. “Just turn around, and let me fuck you backwards.” So Kami did as I asked, and lowered herself onto my still rock hard dick. As I increased the thrusts, she increased her moans. After about ten minutes, I could feel her reaching another climax. “Uuuggghhhh, yeesssss,” she hissed. Feeling a little cheated, I suddenly raised her up slightly, repositioned, and entered her tight ass. (Now we have done this only once before, and Kami did not like it at all, making me promise not to do it again.) “Ouch, ewe, no you fucking bastard,” Kami screamed, “STOP”. At this point a couple of thrusts was all it took before I was shooting stream after stream of cum, everywhere. Kami shoved off of me as cum landed on her back, ass, and my stomach. “Sorry baby, I did not mean to, it just happened,” I tried to explain as she cried. “Don’t fucking touch me,” she screamed as I tried to hug her to me. “Kami, I really am sorry, I was so fucking horny, and it happened. I didn’t intend to do it, I was just not thinking. Please, come here, please,” I begged her. She raised her tear filled eyes to me, and slowly walked toward me. “Don’t ever fucking try that shit again, or we are through!” she stated firmly. I pulled her into my arms, and lifted her up, carrying her to her bed. We laid down, holding each other, with me whispering apologies in her ear. She turned over and kissed me, and at that point I knew all was forgiven. I managed to pull her cover over us before we fell asleep, just in case Tina came back early.
So the next day I went back to my dorm, Mitchell was packing to leave. I grabbed a few more hours of sleep as we fucked several more times throughout the night. (Make-up sex is AWESOME!!) when I got up Mitch said he decided to leave today instead of waiting until tomorrow, so he could beat traffic. “Have a great time bro,” I said as he was leaving. “Yeah see you,” Mitch said, sounding a little down. So for the next week or so, life was back to normal. Kamerun practically moved into my dorm since her roommate was back, and Mitch was gone. The sex was great, but always seemed to be missing something. I think Kami began to feel it also. About the middle of the second week, however, I began to have problems with our lovemaking. No matter how much I pleasured Kami, she was never really able to pleasure me fully. Don’t get me wrong, she made me cum, but it just was not the same. I could not figure out what was wrong. On Friday night, we went to a party at a Frat house, not my usual thing, and we had a little too much to drink. When we got back to my dorm, and tried to get it on, I just could not get it up. “What the fuck Swim! Don’t I turn you on anymore? Is there someone else? That’s it, you met someone else isn’t it…who the fuck is she, tell me and I’ll kick the bitches ass!” she screamed at me. “There is no one else, I swear, I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I don’t need you bitching all the time, is that all I am to you is your boy toy, your fuck buddy?” I screamed back. We had never had a fight like this, I am sure the alcohol had a lot to do with it. But I think it just made it worse than it would have been when it eventually happened, which I know it would have. “Fuck you Steven, if that is what you think, I’m not the one that can’t get it up!” she yelled. I do not think she has ever called me by my real name. “Fuck you bitch, maybe if you tried something new once in a while I could get it up, maybe I am just bored with you!” Kami reached back, and slapped me across the face and walked out slamming the door behind her.
I sat up all night trying to figure out what the hell happened. Over the next couple of weeks, I stayed to myself apart from practice and competitions. The guy on the team never asked me what was wrong, they just assumed it was the break up. I spent the rest of the time alone in my dorm. Unlike before, I became quite good at masturbating, what choice did I have anyway. I lost track of time, was in my own little world, not even realizing how much time went by. One day at practice, I just could not nail my dive, and the coach bitched me out. I walked back to the dorm in a pissed off mood. As I stepped into my room, time stopped for only a split second, Mitchell was back.
Without stopping to think about it, I threw my stuff down, and ran to him. I pulled a surprised Mitch to me, pressing my mouth to his so hard I tasted blood. Mitch returned the kiss just as hard, forcing his tongue into my awaiting mouth. There was no need to say anything, our actions spoke for themselves. As I pressed my mouth to his harder, I no longer knew if the blood I tasted was mine or Mitch’s, but it did not matter, all I wanted was to get as much of him as I could. As we wrestled against the wall I had shoved him against, things began to heat up. I grabbed two handfuls of his soft wavy blond hair, pressing him even closer, as he reached for the hem of my shirt. We only stopped our kiss long enough to remove our shirts, and them pressed together even harder. I felt and heard a long low growl come from deep within Mitch. As Mitch began to dropped my shorts to the floor, I finally broke the kiss. Without saying a word, I think he thought if he said anything, the moment would be lost, I began a slow wet trail down Mitch’s incredible body. Inch by inch I tasted every bit of his skin as I could. I have never experienced a taste like it, sweet, but with a salty sweat taste. I halted my journey down his body long enough to pleasure both nipples, biting and pulling, twisting and licking each to a firm point. Then I began the long journey over his tight abs, and on down to the bald sweet spot I was looking for. And then for the first time, I grabbed some one dick besides mine. He was almost the same size as me, about 7 inches of cut meat. At first I just held it in my hands and stared. Finally I licked the tip, and experience the most erotic feeling I have ever had. I began lick from top to bottom, around and around. I engulfed as much as I could, but only got about 4 inches in. I bobbed on him for a few more minutes, and then moved to his perfectly balls. As I was sucking his balls, he grabbed at my head, and just rubbed. I think the shock of what was happening was too much for either of us as neither one had said anything up to this point. Both of us were however, panting and groaning, getting continually louder. As I released his balls, I placed my tongue at the base of his prick, at the top of his ball sack. Slowly, but firmly I licked a straight line up to the tip, sticking my tongue into his slit, like he did me. Mitch suddenly yelled, “I’m gonna fucking cum.” As he began to shot string after string of cum, I caught it all in my mouth, however, I only swallowed a portion of it. I had plans for the rest. As he finished cumming, I lowered my mouth to his ass. I slid my tongue through my lips trying not to lose any cum, and licked his asshole. Mitch cried out in pure ecstasy, “Oh fucking yesssss!” As I moved my tongue in and out of his hole, I made my move. I placed my lips directly over his hole, forming a seal, and spit his own cum into his ass. By this time we had ended up on my bed, and I raised his ass just enough to keep the cum in it, and then rammed balls deep into his ass. We both moaned, “oh yeaaa.” I looked at Mitch for the first time since I kissed him. I could see pure pleasure on his face. As I fucked his tight ass, I felt his stiff dick pounding against my tight abs. I slowly lowered myself to his neck, and kiss a trial to his ear. “You can cum on me this time,” I whispered into his ear as I swirled my tongue around it. Then we met for a kiss just as passionately, just as hard as the first one. As my thrust became harder and harder I felt both my balls and his begin to fill. With the most amazing orgasm of my life, we came at the same time. I collapsed on the bed next to Mitch, as my now flaccid cock slid out of his gaping hole. We laid like this for several minutes as we slowed our breathing, and our hearts returned to normal.
Mitch was the first to break the silence. “I thought I was just your substitute. I thought when I left, that it was over. You made that perfectly clear,” Mitch said, choking up. “I almost did not come back, I was going to transfer colleges because I did not think I could face you again.” I still had not raised my head, I did not want Mitch to see the tears falling from my eyes. When I did not say anything, Mitch stopped talking. After a few minutes, I gained control, and raised my head to look into his gorgeous blue eyes. “I had the worst three weeks of my life. I broke it off with Kamerun, I fucked up my dive, pissed off my coach, and had no idea why. Until I opened that door and saw you. At that moment I knew what it was. I missed you. I missed being with you, even if it did not seem I was. Something changed that last time, you know, after I had my cast off. I no longer needed you, but I did not know yet that now all I wanted was you. I needed you for a different reason. I still do not think I am gay, or even bi, but you will never again be my substitute.”
Mitch smiled bigger than I had ever seen him “as long as I am not your bitch now,” he laughed. “No not my bitch,” I said giving him a jab to the ribs, “now you’re just my Mitch!” “Very funny,” Mitch said leaning to kiss me again. So that is how my last year of college began. Mitch and I had a very aggressive relationship. We still did not hang out with each other away from the dorm. We both continued dating girls, but never anything serious, and we never brought anyone back to our dorm. It was now a sacred place, just for us. We continued this way through the entire school year. As graduation approached, our relationship changed. We spend more time just being with each other, not always fucking. We fell asleep in each other’s arms every night. The night before graduation, we spent the entire evening making love. We continued well into the night. Before we fell asleep, we agreed to meet back here at the room after graduation. We planned on having on last ‘hoorah’ before I left. I was busy all the next day, greeting my parents, having lunch with them, and saying goodbye to friends and my swim/dive team. The dive I had been perfecting all year paid off at the National Finals. I was offered a place on the US Olympic dive team, my dreams were coming true.
It took awhile after the ceremony to break away, but I finally said goodbye to my parents, as I was driving home in my own car. I ran all the way back to the dorm room so we could begin our private goodbye. I opened the door to find the room empty. I dashed down the hall to the bathroom thinking Mitch was there, only to have my hopes flushed. I slowly walked back down the hall to my room. I looked at the empty side of the room, my stuff was already loaded into my car, and slowly walked to Mitchell’s bed. As I started to lie down to take one last deep breath of his scent, I saw an envelope laying there.
‘Dear Steven, I just could not bear the thought of saying goodbye to you. I know that you will go on with your life, and I will go on with mine. Eventually we will shove this past year to the back of our memories, only to bring them back occasionally when something reminds us of each other. Hell, I don’t know if I will ever be able to swim again without being reminded of you. I hope you understand why I could not meet you tonight, time to move on. Just know when you are standing on the diving platform, pausing to gain your concentration, I will be there with you giving you that added height you need to perform perfectly. You never know, I may very well have built the platform you dive from.
I will be watching from wherever I may be, watching as you rise into the air performing that perfect dive, making your country proud, but more importantly, making me proud to have been a part of your life. And then, I will be with you as you lower your head for the official to place that gold medal around your beautiful neck. And I will be there singing our national anthem right along beside you. As the flag lowers, and the world watches you tear up, only I will know the tears are for a different reason. So go and concur the world SWIM! All my love, your substitute, your Mitch.
P.S. I can’t wait to see you in that US swim team Speedo!!

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