Non-Erotic

True Story

Get Drunk with me

It has been long since I wrote something but to make up for the lost days to my funs I think is about time I give you a true story about my friend and I. I changed her name in the story, just in case

True Story

Drifter Chapter 1

This is chapter 1 of a 10 chapter story. If your looking for sex this chapter isnt for you. Let me know what you think.

Sex Joke

Outback Bar

There was a wild and run down bar in the middle of the Australian outback. One quiet afternoon a kangaroo dressed in a fancy suit with spats and a monocle comes in and hops up to the bar.
“Good day mate,how can I help you?” the bartender asks.
In a fancy accent the kangaroo answers “Let me have a beer.”
The bartender gives him a Fosters and says “That’ll be $10.”
The kangaroo hands him the tenner and drinks down the brew,then gets ready to leave.
The bartender says “We don’t get many of your kind in here mate.”
The kangaroo answers “With prices like these, I’m not suprised.”

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Science-Fiction

harry potter 15c The True Hero Falls pt.3

Harry opened his eyes and looked down. Wormtail was lying on the ground screaming in pain. Harry was confused at to why Wormtail protected him but had a fight to get to.” Harry just stand still and let this be painless on your self. Your parents died with courage and your just being a baby.” Voldemort yelled at him. Harry saw flashes of his parents, Serious and Dumbledore dieing in his head, which brought the rage out of him. “Avada Kadava” Harry yelled out and the spell hit Voldemort square in the chest.
He had done it; he had killed Voldemort after all this time, it was over. Harry looked down at the lifeless body. Wormtail had stopped withering on the ground and just looked asleep. Harry sat down on the grass, exhausted from the fighting. It was dark out by now and everything was fading from sight. Harry all of a sudden saw a flash of green light coming at him and a shadow seemed to block him from it.
Wormtail was lying in front of Harry, dead and lifeless. Harry jumped to his feet but Gwarp saw this and brought his arm down to hit Voldemort. “No Gwarp he’s mine I can handle him.” Harry yelled at him, which made him bring his massive hand back. Harry was shocked at how Voldemort could have withstood that straight at his chest. “Silly boy, I am not alive so there for can not be killed.
Harry was lost; he could not kill what is not alive. Harry just started shooting off curses toward Voldemort and most of them, blocked as if they did not exist. Harry was the target of a curse, which hit him in the ribs, and he felt them break on impact. Harry grabbed his sides and looked up at Voldemort.
Harry lifted his wand, “Sectumsempra” Harry could see Voldemort open up with cuts all over but there was a problem. There was no blood spilling out of the slices. Now Harry was worried, he knew he had to kill Voldemort but he did not know how. “What has Dumbledore always told me? I know of something Voldemort can not understand.” Love was the answer but the question was how he was supposed to use it.
Harry ducked when a curse was heading toward him. He knew he was running out of time but he knew he had to do something. Just then, it hit Harry. He ran forward, dodging curses flying at him, and grabbed Voldemort around his mid section. He then reached up and planted his hands on Voldemort’s face.
Voldemort started screaming in pain and anguish. Harry reached inside his robes and let his hand burn straight into Voldemort’s stomach. Harry stood up and watched as Voldemort turned to ashes in front of his eyes. Harry collapsed and passed out. Harry was filled with, for the first time in his life, the sense that everything was going to be fine.
The End!
Just kidding
To Be Continued…

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Science-Fiction

harry potter 15 The True Hero Falls

Harry turned to the door just as a flash of green light flew past his head. Bellatrix was standing there with her wand pointed at Harry. He ducked behind his hospital bed just as another curse hit the bedspread and caught it on fire. Harry pointed his wand at the door and sent a spell (nvbl) back at her missing and exploding a picture hanging on the wall.
She ducked behind a dresser that was standing right next to her as she sent another curse at Harry. Harry saw the bed was engulfed in flames and had an idea. Harry grabbed the bed and pushed it toward Bellatrix while he pulled his cloak out from his back pocket. After putting, it on Bellatrix was looking all around the room for him sending random spells everywhere.
Harry snuck out the door and looked down the deserted corridor. The only thing Harry could hear was Bellatrix getting mad because she could not find him. Harry bolted down the corridors and stopped right in front of the portrait of the fat lady but she told him the room was deserted and she heard that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had everyone trapped in the great hall.
Harry told her he still needed to get in to get something out of his trunk so she let him enter. Harry ran up to his room and back down in a matter of seconds. Harry ran for the great hall taking the shortest rout possible checking the map as he went, he had grabbed it out of the chest. Harry stopped inside of a passage real close to the great hall and noticed that Voldemort, Snape, Drako and everyone else was in there.
The children were sitting against the wall behind all the teachers and members of the order except Hagrid who was still in his hut. The death eaters, twenty or so of them, were walking back and forth in front of his friends with a few of them circling the room. Voldemort was standing in the middle with Snape, Wormtail and Drako by his side while his snake circled them.
Harry told himself he had to think of something before going in there. He checked the map again for Ron, Ginny and Hermione. He saw them in the middle sitting with Luna, Cho and Neville. Harry knew he had to think fast because he could tell Voldemort was getting restless. Harry whispered, “Kreacher” which in an instant he appeared along side Dobby. “Kreacher I want you to run past those death eaters to distract them. Dobby can you go down to Hagrid’s hut and tell him Voldemort is in the castle. I need to get inside to help my friends.
They both bowed in acknowledgement and left from the hidden passageway. Harry stood there and threw on his cloak when he heard yelling then silence. He crept out from his hiding and made his way to the door. “Where is Potter? He should be here by now.” Harry heard Voldemort complain. “Bellatrix should be here by now; she should have found him by now.”
Just then, Harry heard footsteps behind him and slipped inside the room before Bellatrix came running in. “He got past me sir. He had his invisibility cloak with me and slipped into the hall.” Harry could tell Voldemort was mad. He walked over to the students saying, “Well I shall entertain my self while I wait.” He then reached out and grabbed Cho from the mist of the students. “From what I heard,” he said looking at Draco, “you were the girlfriend of the boy I killed on the night I returned.”
Voldemort shoved her into one of the tables sitting on the far side of the room. She slumped down to the ground looking up at Voldemort crying and pleading with him. Voldemort pulled out his wand from his robes and walked over to her. He had a nasty little grin on his face Harry from what Harry could see. Harry slipped along the students behind the death eaters looking on at the entertainment.
Harry made it to Hermione and bent over to whisper in her ear, “Don’t say anything to show I’m here just listen. Do you guys have your wands on you?” he asked her and she shook her head looking over at a table sitting at the head of the room, right below the teachers table. Harry saw that there were all the wands of the students sitting there.
Harry bent back over and continued, “Well I’m pretty sure I can go over and get a few of them. I need your help if I am to pull this off. Tell Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville to be ready and not to act surprised when their wands appear. I need you guys to take out as many death eaters as you possibly can while I work on Voldemort. Try getting the Order’s wands for them so they can help out.”
After Harry knew that she understood and snuck off to the table. Harry heard Cho crying loudly behind him but he had to get to the wands and get back. Harry stowed a handful, about ten wands inside the cloak with everyone else’s attention turned elsewhere made his way back to Hermione and the others. Harry put all but a few into her hands and gave the others to Ginny, Ron, Luna and Neville who all gripped them tightly.
Harry knew he was now that everyone was ready to go. Harry saw the room light up in a green color and froze. He could not hear Cho anymore and slowly turned around. Cho was on her back with her teary eyes wide open, spread eagle and dead. Harry felt his eyes tear but he turned it into pure anger and stepped forward pulling off his robes as he approached Voldemort. Harry had his wand pointing right at the back of his head as he passed the first death eater who shouted for his master to turn around as he tried grabbing Harry.
End of part one
To Be Continued…

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Science-Fiction

harry potter 14 Harry’s Victories

Harry fell flat on his back by the impact of something hitting him. “Harry Potter sir Dobby is coming to get you. Dobby thinks he find what you look for.” Dobby held out a wand. Harry stood up and took it from him while stepping into the room and shutting the door. Harry looked at it closely.
It was about ten inches long and a sleek black color. It looked like it was in perfect condition; Harry ran his finger all around it up and down its shaft. Harry looked at the handle and saw there was an R on it. This made Harry jump up with excitement and before running off to Ron and Hermione he told dobby, “I owe you for this one Dobby. If you need anything just ask.”
Harry bolted out of the room, down the corridors, and up many stairs to get to Gryffindor common room, with a couple passages. Hermione, Ron and Ginny were sitting there by the fire and before they could ask where he’s been he grabbed Ginny and told them all to follow him. He led them up to the boys’ dorm because it was empty.
Harry pulled the wand out of his pocket and showed it to them. Hermione grabbed it right away and looked it over the best she could stopping on the R at the base of it. “Wow Harry how’d you find it? Where did you find it?” Hermione asked him while she stroked it. Harry took it out of her hands before saying, “Well I didn’t find it actually, Dobby did. I also don’t want anybody touching this until we can find a way to destroy it.”
Harry went to his chest, pulled out an old pair of socks, and stuck the wand inside. He wrapped it up and placed it at the very bottom of the chest underneath his clothes. Harry made sure that when he locked it he added a few protection charms on it so no one accidentally found it.
They all set out to a wonderful lunch which included roast, chicken, mashed potatoes and an assortment of pies for desert. Harry on the other hand could not eat; neither could Ron, because right after lunch was the last Quidditch match of the year and probably the rest of their lives. They all headed to the field and Hermione bode them good luck before heading to the stands.
Harry, Ron and Ginny entered the tent where the rest of the team was waiting nervously. Harry put on his Quidditch robes and stood in front of his teammates, “For some of us this is the last official match we will be playing. I say we make it a match that no one will forget for years to come.” This got some cheers from his teammates and he continued; “Now I want the best efforts out of all of you. Let’s bring the cup home again for the seventh straight year.”
They all cheered and left the tent ready to go for it. The fifteen people lifted up off the grounds and Harry circled the playing field looking for the snitch, as he would always do. Harry heard Luna commentating on the match, which was as enjoyable as always when she messed up the names. The only names she got right were Harry, Ron and Ginny’s.
Harry heard the score of 70 to 30 Gryffindor was in the lead and Harry was still searching for the snitch. He was searching every inch of the field and could not see it so he circled lower and lower. Harry weaved in and out of players racing from each end of the field to the other and back. Harry flew up behind Ron to look the entire length of the field, which did not help at all.
As he took off to look higher, he was hit smack in the side of the head by a quaffle soaring past Ron. Harry laid flat on his back looking up and heard the whistle indicating a time out. He looked up and saw Ginny standing over him but all he could hear was ringing. Harry sat up and stood for a few seconds before mounting his broom and kicking off again.
Harry circled the field as the whistle was blown to continue playing. The score was now 100 to 70 and Harry knew he needed to find the snitch soon. Harry looked over at the opposing side of the field and noticed something shimmer behind the goal post. Harry took off streaking toward it with the other seeker on his tail. Harry was streaking toward the ground at breaking speeds and lifted himself up just in time with the snitch in hand. Harry looked up and he blacked out.
Harry awoke some time later in the hospital wing. Ginny was sitting beside his bed putting a cool cloth on his head. Harry looked at her but before he said anything, she spoke up. “You ran smack into the wall below the stands where Ravenclaw were sitting and passed out. You pulled out of your plunge a little to close to it.” Ginny told him with a little worry on her face, “The match ended three hours ago and diner is about to start. I’ll go and nip some food for us and come right back.”
As Ginny, left he looked around the room and noticed he was the only one there. Harry lay back down, closed his eyes and fell asleep. Harry awoke some time later to a loud smashing noise. He sat straight up and looked around but the room was still deserted. Harry got out of bed, pulled on his robes, and grabbed his wand out of the pocket. Just then, the door flew open.
To Be Continued…

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Science-Fiction

harry potter 17 A New Beginning

Harry got out of the car and walked up to the house. He was standing at Godrics Hallow staring up at his parents’ house. Harry turned to look at the Weasleys with a look of shock on his face. “I was rebuilt this year for you. We all knew you needed a place to stay after school ended so all of your friends chipped in and built this for you. It’s an exact replica of your parents’ house.” Mr. Weasley told him but there was only one thing on his mind right now.
“Where are my parents buried?” Harry asked them and they al took a trip about a block away to a cemetery. Mr. Weasley walked him to two headstones. “Here lies James Potter, beloved father, brother, friend and husband. “We shall overcome all evil” next to his father was his mother’s tombstone, “Here lies Lily Potter loving mother, sister, friend and wife. “Love will conquer all.”
Harry read them and started getting teary eyed. He knelt down on his knees and whispered, “I did it, I got revenge for your and everyone else’s death. I just wish you were still alive but it had to turn out this way and I know that. Well I am going to be a father now and between you and me, Mrs. Wesley’s baby is probably mine to. I am going to go look at my new house and I will be back to visit you from time to time.
Harry got up and looked around and Ron, Ginny and Hermione were the only ones left. Harry walked over to them asking where their parents went, “they went home leaving us here to keep you company.” Ginny had told him. They all headed back to the house and through a marvelous remake of the front door.
The inside was exactly as Harry had seen it inside the pensive, although without his parents. The house had three bedrooms and Harry had an idea, “Why don’t you three move in with me?” Everyone loved the idea. A few months went by and Ginny gave birth on July the fourth to a healthy baby girl. She looked like Ginny with the green hair except for her eyes, as green as Harry’s and his mother’s.
A month later on the eighth Molly gave birth to yet another boy who, thankfully, looked just like his father. Hermione had never gotten pregnant so they went to see a doctor and found out that she could not get pregnant. When school started the baby, named lily, would stay with her grandparents while Ginny finished her last year of school and Ron and Harry had auror training. Hermione decided on becoming a teacher.
Life was great for everyone now that Voldemort was defeated and all of his death eaters were rounded up. Giants were corralled back into the mountains to live while Dementors, under strict supervisee, went back to guarding Azkaban.
Over the next few years, Harry and Ginny had a few more babies, an average of one a year. By the time Ginny was finished with her auror training they had 5 kids running around. Lily, Albus, Serious, James and Lupin along with the four adults were out growing the house so they built on to it. Even though Ron and Hermione never had kids Harry’s would call them mom and dad.
Life had turned out as good as Harry could have expected and loved it. He would visit his parents grave and talk to them at least once a month to tell them how everything was going. Harry took them flowers each time and laid it upon their graves. Harry never wanted to leave but he knew each time that he had a family of his own and his parents were proud of the way he turned out.
THE END?

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harry potter 15b The True Hero Falls pt.2

Harry yanked his arm out from the death eaters grip. “Harry potter, so nice of you to join us.” Voldemort said with his back to Harry looking down at Cho’s lifeless body. “Tell me Harry, how does it feel to loose another loved one? You have been a thorn in my side for way to long and you shall die on this night. Do you have any last pleads for your life?” he said turning to look Harry in the eyes.
Harry was steaming mad by now and had almost forgotten his plans. Harry lowered his wand slowly to his side but keeping a firm grip on it. “Do you have any last for YOUR life” Harry mocked him back. All Voldemort could do was laugh at Harry, “Stupid stupid boy. Do you not realize how far I have come in life? I am immortal and after I kill you no one will ever question my powers.”By now Harry just felt like mocking him because he knew if he could distract him he could execute his plans. “Oh are you talking about your seven Horcruxes. Yeah I know all about them. Dumbledore told me all about them before he died.”
Harry saw the shock on Voldemort’s face and smiled, “Didn’t think I knew did you? Well I do and I’m pleased to tell you all but two have been destroyed.” Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out Ravenclaw’s wand from his pocket. Harry saw Voldemort’s eyes light up and look at the wand. Voldemort tried lunging at the wand but Harry just backed up a little.
“Now let’s negotiate here.” Harry told him feeling confident in his actions. “You release every here and ill face you one on one. The better man wins.” Voldemort did not like this one bit, “How about you face me here and now in front of everyone or my death eaters will start killing your friends.” With this all, the death eater withdrew their wands and pointed them at a student of their choice.
Harry thought that this would work in his favor and started thinking of a new plan. Meanwhile Voldemort took his silence as weakness, “I can always make new Horcruxes by using your classmates here. Kill them,” Harry yelled but it was too late. The death eaters each sent out their own curses. One by one student fell over, Seamus, Katie, the Pavarti twins and some other students Harry did not know. Harry Took out his wand and yelled, “Now”
Harry jumped sideways and shot whatever curses came to his head at the death eaters while receiving his fair share. Ron, Hermione, Ginny and the others jumped up and fired their own curses at the death eaters. Hermione threw the extra wands to members of the order who grabbed them and jumped in on the fight. During the confusion, Voldemort’s snake vanished from sight. Harry had his wand in one hand and Ravenclaw’s wand in the other.
Harry had an idea to try to break it as he hid behind a desk. Harry took the wand in his had and snapped it in half but nothing happened. Harry set it on the floor and with a few select words set it on fire. Its flames glowed black emitting red smoke from it. Harry knew this had worked and decided to go after Voldemort. Harry lifted his head up and saw Voldemort and Wormtail exit through the door. As Harry got up, the desk he was behind exploded with a powerful curse, which knocked him off his feet.
Harry regained his structure and bolted for the door. He saw Voldemort’s cloak disappear around a corner that lead to the front doors. Harry took some hidden passages and wound up right behind Voldemort as he headed out the front door. Harry stopped at the door way because Voldemort and Wormtail were standing there looking up into the sky. Harry looked up to and saw Gwarp standing there, “You not leave. Hagger I stop them.” Hagrid came running and stopped at the ankle of his brother who had grown considerably since the last time Harry saw him.
“Turn around and face me you coward. This ends here and now and I promise you I will be walking away.” Harry felt more confident than he had ever felt before. Harry held his wand straight out toward Voldemort and Wormtail slinked off to the side. “Very well, Potter if you choose to die today I will accommodate you. “Avada Ked…” Harry was quick on the uptake, “Expelliamus”
Their wands had connected again with lava like lights spewing from both of their wands. Harry however was ready for this and pulled out the mirror his godfather gave him. Harry lowered his wand and at the same time lifted the mirror in its place. Voldemort jumped out of the way just in time for his curse to burn the side of his robes.
Harry threw down the mirror because it had been destroyed by the impact. He then raised his wand at the now dazed Voldemort. “Crucio” was the first spell to Harry’s head but it had no impact. “HA HA HA you still don’t mean to cause me harm do you.” Voldemort said raising his wand. “Let me show you how it’s done. Crucio.” Harry saw the wand light heading straight at his head. Harry did not know what to do. He just prepared for the curse to hit him. “AAAHHHH”
End of part 2
To Be Continued…

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Science-Fiction

harry potter 16 The War Ends

Harry awoke some time later to the felling of a cool rag pressed to his head. He tried to get up but he was pushed back down onto his bed. “Just lay there. You need your rest.” Harry heard Ginny tell him before falling asleep again. He awoke the next day to loud talking in the room and knew that Mrs. Weasley had arrived. Harry sat up and looked around for his glasses but could not find them until someone handed them to him.
Harry looked up and his heart jolted. Dumbledore was sitting next to his bed. Harry was at a loss for words that he just stuttered. “Easy Harry I shall explain in a moment when we are alone. But for now some people want to see you.” Dumbledore told him. Harry looked and at the other side of the room with their parents were Ron and Ginny. Hermione was sitting on Harry’s other side sleeping. Harry reached over and shook her to wake her up.
Hermione stirred and looked around before she saw Harry and jumped up embracing him in a hug. “I’m so happy you’re alright. I knew you would be but some others didn’t.” she said with a smile and tears streaming down her face. Ron and Ginny noticed Harry had awakened and ran over to him. Ginny attacked him by jumping on the bed right on top of him. Ron on the other hand just shook his hand, “Good job.”
Harry was pleased everyone wanted to be with him but he asked him all to leave so he could talk to Dumbledore alone. After all the hugs and kisses, the room emptied leaving the two of them alone. “I know Harry, I should be dead. Your right I should be but, as you can see, I am not. After Snape lifted me out of the window and I floated to the ground I was dead. Although Voldemort has Horcruxes, there are other ways of extending your life. You see Harry there is an old and powerful magic I came across to where if some were to sacrifice their lives and something else sacrifices their lives for that person. They can live again.
“I can tell you’re confused so I’ll explain it. As you know, Snape made the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa. Draco’s job was to kill me, and if he failed, Snape would have to kill me. As you saw Draco could not kill me, he just did not have it in him. Therefore, when Snape showed up he had no choice to do it. You heard Snape and I had an argument earlier last year. I was making him promise to me that he would kill me if it came to that.
“So that was my sacrifice, I would die instead of Snape. At the funeral, Fawkes sacrificed her life to save mine by flying into the coffin and giving me her soul. I was able to Apparate out of the coffin to a safe place no one knew where I was. I had to let you face Voldemort alone, it was the only way you could succeed.”
Harry sat there for a minute taking in all Dumbledore was telling him. Then it hit him, “Sir, why did Wormtail sacrifice his life for mine?” Dumbledore smiled at Harry, “Wormtail is your uncle. To be more exact your fathers brother, well adopted brother. Your father’s parents adopted Wormtail when he was young and that is why he was always around him. Wormtail, I am guessing, never meant for Voldemort to kill your parents. He perhaps expected him to turn them to his side.
“When Voldemort tried killing you he couldn’t let you just die so he sacrificed his life to save yours. Perhaps he wanted to undo what he had done some how.” Dumbledore sat to await Harry’s next question. “When I touched Voldemort my skin seemed to burn him. I thought he was immune to my touch now?” Harry asked him. Dumbledore shook his head, “No Harry he was immune to your mothers love and sacrifice for you, but not Wormtail’s. When He jumped in front of you, that set another powerful protection on you. That is why you were able to touch him again.
“Now I shall go speak to the minister and Minerva. Yes, she is still headmistress of the school. I think I shall apply for the minister of magic position and get Stan Shunpike out of jail. You are ready for the real world and I shall watch over you.” Dumbledore got up to leave but Harry had almost forgotten, “Sir one more thing. The snake is still out there.” Harry told him. Dumbledore turned to him, “Actually Gwarp can be thanked for not letting the snake away. This morning when we searched the grounds for any death eaters left over we came across a smashed snake in the middle of a giant foot print.”
Dumbledore turned and left which let the others come back in. “So what happened after I left last night?” Harry asked them and Ginny was the one who spoke up first. “Well after you left we fought the death eaters and Snape joined us. All the death eaters were grouped together against the swarm of people coming down on them. A few of them died before the rest gave up after we injured them a lot.
“We had some injuries but nothing major although Slughorn will be retiring for good. I killed Greyback for attacking my brother and Hermione knocked out Bellatrix after she hit Ron with the Crucio curse. But all in all we did great.” Madam Pomfrey came in and gave Harry a dose of the sleeping potion and he fell asleep felling warm all over.
Harry was released the next day for the end of the year feast and awarding on the school trophy, which Gryffindor won again. Yearbooks were handed out to all the seventh years as they boarded the train to head home. Everyone spent the entire time getting signatures and it seemed everyone wanted Harry’s. After being aloud through the barrier, Harry saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley standing there but no aunt and uncle. Harry was relieved he did not have to go back there and they were probably glad of the same.
Harry was planning to stay with the Weasleys until he could find a place to stay. Harry approached them, said his hellos and just came out with it. “Can I stay with you until I find a place to stay?” Molly just looked at him with a straight face, “I’m sorry Harry but we just don’t have the room. I’m pregnant again so the twin’s room is being turned into a nursery.” Harry had a disappointed look on his face. Molly continued though, “But, if you will remember you own your own house and we shall take you to it.
They all piled into the ministry car, which the new minister Dumbledore arranged. Moreover, they drove for about and hour, Harry did not want to go back to Grimmuald place but he had no choice. He needed a place to live. The car pulled to a stop and Harry looked out of his window. Harry was not outside of his godfather’s house but he was outside of a place he never expected.
To Be Continued…

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