Scatology

Big Bad Dude

a big bad dude runs a porno story site. Dispite the themes in the story, read all the way to the end before judging it.

Huge Fuckin’ Sunflower

When I was a boy the folks in the house down the street had a huge fuckin’ sunflower in front of their house.
I thought that huge fuckin’ sunflower was the cats pajamas.
I don’t remember if I asked my mom if we could have a huge fuckin’ sunflower
I’m sure I wanted a huge fuckin’ sunflower in front of our house
But we never had one.
Now I’m forty six years old. I’ve got well trimmed mutton chop Vegas era Elvis sideburns and a cherry red 1976 Monte Carlo Landau with a 350 OHV V-8
I’ve never had a huge fuckin’ sunflower in front of my house.
Mostly, I’ve lived in places where I didn’t really have any say whatsoever in the decisions pertaining to landscaping.
Living in apartment buildings – boarding houses – flop house – drunk tanks.
Now I’m forty six years old and I have a front yard to plant a huge fuckin’ sunflower in.
My wife doesn’t want a huge fuckin’ sunflower.
She says it will attract bees.
She’s a cunt about that but she’ll make a fine beef brisket
Slow cooked with potatoes carrots parsnips garlic and herbs
She’ll roasts that puppy about forty five minutes per pound of brisket
Smells the whole house up
The house with no huge fuckin’ sunflower in front.
She’s a strumpet who thinks Jesus is going to damn me to hell if I don’t repent
She’ll toss my salad but she won’t let me plant a huge fuckin’ sunflower in front of the house.
She’ll go on a 3 day green tea fast and break it with a burger and 5 big ears of corn on the cob.
Then She’ll squat romantically over me as I lay on the floor supine holding a clear glass bowl over my head.
I’ll watch breathlessly as her anus parts with an audible “ploop” and a glistening corny baby ruthish turd slowly slides out of her now gaping anus with a wet crackly sound.
The steamy corn encrusted turd plops into the aforementioned clear glass bowl I am holding over my head as I lie flat prone supine on the floor thus allowing myself the best possible view of her gaping anus as it pushes forth the corny poop like a shy turtle head peaking out into an August dewy morn.
But she won’t let me plant a huge fuckin’ sunflower in front of the house.

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Chili Ass Hair Dog

Depending on who you ask, a chili dog could be a guy taking a dump on a chick’s chest and tittie fucking her, a guy taking a dump in between his partner’s ass cheeks, then rubbing his shwang in between the aforementioned ass cheeks until he squirts a load of baby batter at the top of the crack, having anal sex with somebody who has diarrhea, or a hot dog with chili on it. I will be referring to the latter with the extra added flavor and texture only ass hair can add.
Coney Island style Ass Hair Chili for Chili Dogs
1 pound ground chuck
1 large onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 six ounce can tomato paste
1 cup water
1/2 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon prepared yellow mustard
1 tablespoon dried, minced onion
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon celery seed
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin (heaping)
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 Ass worth Ass Hair
First, get a razor and spread a portion of newspaper on the floor. Stand on the newspaper while you dry shave off your ass hair. A dry shave is recommended (no water and of course, no shaving cream) because it is easier to collect the ass hair when you are done.
Collect the ass hair
Brown ground beef in a skillet.
Add onions when beef is half way through browning. Add minced garlic when meat and onions are almost done.
Add remaining ingredients EXCEPT ass hair; stir well to combine. Simmer over low heat 10 minutes.
Add ass hair. Simmer over low heat for 5 more minutes.
Serve over hot dogs, Coney Island style!
Chili Cheese Dog
Depending on who you ask, a chili cheese dog could be what you gave after taking a dump on a chick’s chest, tittie fucking her, and cumming on top. It could also be a chili dog with cheese on it. I will referring to the later.
To make a Chili Ass Hair Cheese Dog, simply follow the instructions for Chili Ass Hair Dog and add a slice of your favorite cheese to make it a Chili Cheese Ass Hair Dog!
Enjoy with Ass Hair Lemonade (See recipe in my account)

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Sara’s new life

Short disclaimer. I’ve decided to contribute a little. First attempt at writing erotic literature. All characters are over 21 and you water sports and slavery are not your thing then this probably is not for you.

Kathy (white trash whore) part 3

Kathy (white trash whore) part 3
Kathy arrived at her work-station and, checking her rota, saw that the recently arrived guy in bed 3 was due for his hourly check and a bed bath.
She prepared her trolley and went to the side room off the main corridor of the ward.
He was actually awake when she arrived, which was good news as he had been admitted the previous evening with concussion following a motorcycle accident and had no serious injuries other than bruising, but was being kept in under observation as he had complained of headaches and giddiness. “ Hello darling” he said as she shook the thermometer and placed it under his tongue. “Hello Bill” she read his name from his chart and then entered his temperature on it. “I’m in need of the toilet” Kathy asked if he wanted a number one or two? and handed him a bed pan when he replied, “just a piss love” Kathy was not surprised at his bluntness and closed the curtain around his bed as he took a leak. “Don’t drink it all at once babe” he said as he handed her the bottle. Kathy was a little taken aback by that remark, but cheerfully responded, “Don’t worry, I wont”
He laughed as she strapped his upper arm and began to take his blood pressure. “Don’t squeeze me too hard sweetie”
Up until then she had been happy with his comments, but “sweetie” was never a properly deserving description of Kathy. “Please don’t call me sweetie Mister Curtis” “Sorry love, what can I call you?” “Kathy will do just fine, or nurse, if you prefer”
She unstrapped his arm then offered him the small cup with his two pills inside and a glass of water. “How are you feeling Bill?” she asked as he took his medication. “Very much better thanks, apart from a slight dizziness” “So you will be ok for your bed bath then?” “Sounds good to me sweee……….sorry, nurse” Kathy laid her head on one side and gave him her best interpretation of a scowl. She removed the bed cover and asked him to turn on his side so that she could undo the two strings that tied the flimsy, backside revealing, hospital gown, and then stripped it off him. Placing the plastic sheet on the bed she asked him to roll onto his other side so that she could pull the sheet under him, then asking him to lay on his tummy she began to gently wash his back.
She quickly washed from his neck to his toes then finally to the crease between his buttocks. He considerately parted his legs and she wiped him with the flannel before placing it in the bowl and drying him off with the towel.
“Turn over please Bill” For the first time Bill was slow with his reply…….”Um, I don’t know if I can……. uh, I mean I don’t know if I should nurse” Not shy are we Bill?” she asked with more than a little levity in the tone of her voice. “I do this every day”
He rolled over. Sure enough, he had an erection. “Hmmmmmmm I think I should be able to work around that OK” “You don’t have to” he said. Feeling more comfortable as he watched Kathy staring at his proud member. She washed his face arms and hands, her gaze constantly drawn to his long and not too thin prick. “Go on babe, you know you want to”
She looked him straight in the eyes trying to muster every sense of duty and dignity in her body, but her feeble defence was transparent to Bill.
“I won’t tell if you won’t” he said, with an air of self confidence in his voice. She placed the flannel back in the bowl and started to soap her hands, placing them on his breasts and massaging them. “There’s a good girl” He said as he began wanking himself. Kathy moved her hands down over his rippled and lightly hairy stomach cupping his balls in one as the other gripped his shaft and began stroking. “Oh babe, you are so good at this” She felt her skirt lifting, and then his hand moving up on the inside of her thigh. She parted her legs as he reached his goal. “Fuck darling, you are ready for anything” Kathy’s panties were still in her handbag after her earlier masturbation. She bent down, pointing his dick towards her and swallowed it. She let it force her lips apart as she lowered her head onto its full length, imagining how it would feel if the 8 or so inches of stiff meat were pushing into her cunt. Overcoming her gag reflex with just a slight constriction of her throat muscles as she let it sink inside her. He had two, maybe three fingers inside her as he pumped at her increasingly wet cunt.
Kathy was blowing him as hard as she could, sucking for all her might as he slipped out of her and clamping her lips tightly around him as he pushed back in. He poked her arsehole, she poked his. They both developed a fucking motion as she sucked and he fingered. “I’m gonna cum nurse!” he declared as his hand continued shagging her cunt. Kathy sucked harder, tighter, her hand wanking him as she sucked, tasting his warm goo as his cum exploded into her mouth. Kathy was cumming too. Bill had four fingers in her twat, the knuckle of his middle finger pushing hard against her clit. Kathy’s mouth was so full of cum that it had started to escape and run down his shaft, matting into the hair at the base of his cock. She swallowed, her finger still inside Bill’s arse, massaging his prostate, his thumb inside hers. She pulled away swallowing as she looked at his bell end then dropped her head to circle her tongue round it, cleaning the last drops of spunk that were dribbling from his little hole. He squirmed, “Go easy baby” His cock was now so sensitive. Kathy continued to tease him with her tongue until he was almost begging her to stop. Kathy went done to suck the cum from his pubes, not really enjoying the feeling of the wiry hair on her tongue, but loving the delicious taste. Bill withdrew his hand from Kathy’s twat and licked it.
“Mmmmmmmmm you taste so sweet Kathy, any chance you could show me where my fingers have just been?” Kathy gave him a quizzical look then went to pull a visitor’s chair closer to the bed and lifted her leg up on it. She pulled her skirt up, exposing herself to him. He gazed at the creamy white flesh between her stocking tops and the now reddened and wet lips of her pouting pisser. Kathy fingered herself, pulling her piss flaps open to display her hole to him. “Turn around baby” She done as requested, bending over slightly to display her dirt hole to him. Bill stuck his finger in her, then pulled it out and lightly slapped her bum. Kathy spun around and watched as Bill sucked his finger. She leant forward to kiss him, sucking on his tongue as it probed her lips, then nibbling on his bottom lip before snatching herself away. “Better finish your bath now Mr Curtis”
Kathy’s shift finished without further incident other than her last visit to Bill. He told her how much he had been thinking of her and was currently stiff and about to cum.
She obliged him with his request for a feel of her “beautiful bald slit and arse” and jacked him off under the covers, only using her mouth this time to clean up his mess.
When she went to her locker to get her coat and handbag, Kat was there getting ready to go home. They greeted each other with a friendly smile and Kathy’s mind drifted back to their first meeting in the toilets when she had listened to this cute young thing fart as she took a pee.
She had a feeling that Kat would have liked to have chatted for a while, but after turning on her phone and seeing the text message from Lenny, she said goodnight and went to her car.
“Get on messenger when you get home bitch, I move on sat.”
She could still taste Bill’s cum in her mouth and hear Kat pissing and farting in her mind as she drove home.
All the lights in the house were out as she opened the front door and hung up her coat. Jeff must be in bed, she thought as she walked into the living room, stripping off as she went over to the computer and turned it on.
Lenny was online, she greeted him with “Hiya babe”
Lenny replied, “I been waitin’ for you bitch.”
“Sorry Lenny, I came as quick as I could”
“I had to jack off listening to some other white bitch whore that wants my big black dick so much”
“I really am sorry Lenny”
“She wasn’t a filthy arse lovin cunt like you are bitch, and it took me longer to shoot my load”
Kathy’s cunt was creaming up.
“Listen bitch, I will pick you up at 2pm on Saturday at the car park at your hospital”
“I’m not working at the weekend Lenny”
“Just be there bitch. Tell your fucking useless cunt of an old man you got some overtime to do and you won’t be home til late”
“I will Lenny, I promise. I want your cock so fucking bad”
“You gonna get a lot more than just my cock you fuckin slut, just be there at 2, and don’t you dare be late.”
Lenny signed out before she could tell him how she wanted him to use her and that she will do everything he wants.
She had cum and her fanny was still tingling for more, but she went up to bed anyway.
She slid in next to Jeff; he was in his usual, almost fetal position, on “his” side of the bed facing away from her.
One thing she did like about Jeff was that he never wore pyjamas or anything in bed. Like her, he preferred to sleep “au natural”
She felt his bum cheeks before sliding herself up against them ad reaching her hand around him to find his cock. It was as fast asleep as he was, barely poking out from his pubes by the feel of it. She cupped his saggy ball bag in her hand and squeezed it lightly. Jeff wriggled a little and grunted. She squeezed again. Jeff wriggled again, and then farted.
Kathy put her head under the sheets. The thing that most sets Kathy apart from other people is her insatiable lust for the smell and taste of arse.
She breathed in deeply, Jeff’s cock now between her fingers with her thumb circling his piss hole. He was actually starting, very slowly, to get hard. Jeff grunted again as he started to stir, “Juh………Uh… Kathy” he questioned. She purred in his ear and then whispered, “Who else would it be sweetheart? His dick was now hard enough to stroke properly. “You wanna put this in your sweeties little pussy?” She squeezed his cock as she wrapped her leg around his, pushing her cunt against his leg.
Jeff rolled onto his back, he didn’t really want to but thought it would be OK if she done all the work. Kathy climbed on top of him lowering her tits down over his face, smothering him. He grasped her buttocks as Kathy reached behind her and guided him into her slit.
He went in easily, too easily for Kathy, and she sat hard on him grinding her clit into his pubic bone. She gyrated herself on him using her fingers to add more to her satisfaction, fucking him harder and harder. His dick plopped out, as it often did when she started enjoying it. She reached back for it, feeling how wet it was. She laid it on him and parting her cunt lips started to slide up and down, her thick juices covering its length.
She reached back again, but this time aimed it at her arse. It was a perfect shot, she pushed her hole open as his cock head hit her ring dead centre and entered her. She felt him stiffening inside her as she rode him.
Jeff kept repeating, “Oh fuck Kathy, Oh fuck Kathy”
And then, “Oh shit Kathy, Oh shit”
Kathy felt his cream fill her arse. She rode him as hard as she dared to without letting his cock plop out, ad when she knew he had finished, she quickly spun round on top of him and went down on his softening dick.
She sucked her arse juice from him feasting on the mildly shitty but gloriously filthy flavour.
Her arse was right in front of Jeff’s nose. He could smell it, and his cum, and the strong odour of a woman that’s had a busy day, but he resisted the temptation to lick it. In face, he was not tempted at all.
Kathy new that Jeff lost any urge he might have had as soon as he had cum so she respectfully got off him, knowing that he would be needing to go to the bathroom, but also knowing that she had an arse full of tasty cum.
As soon as Jeff went through the bedroom door she was squatting on her hand farting the cum out into her palm and enjoying her favourite cocktail.
Kathy slept really well that night…………..
to be continued

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The cuckslut

Tristan is cucked by his girlfriend Astrid, who’s found someone else with a much bigger cock and a lovely knot. Of course he is also cruelly humiliated!

Amy Emily and Me Part 6 Good Morning

Within twelve hours, my life (my sex life) has gone from jerking off multiple times a day to…. Losing my virginity to my sister… Taking my little sister’s virginity…. To eating my sister’s shit… To finding a balance with her best friend who has been the lust of my life. Now we are figuring how to get her best friend to accept her dark desires along with ours.

Depraved Secret

Husband stumbles across a hidden D.V.D while his wife is away…. the first of many if comments are favourable!