True Feelings Part 1
Introduction:
I finally get my feelings across to my crush
I decided on a simple white tee shirt with black jeans shorts, as it was late July, and some black and white high top sneakers. After getting dressed I made my way to the kitchen down the hall where my grandma was already making a pot of coffee and a breakfast of pancakes and sausage, someone remembered it was my birthday.
“For someone who doesn’t sleep you seem to always be the last one out of your room,” my grandma jokingly said without looking at me.
I laughed at the reference to my insomnia which refused to let me sleep longer than a few hours a day. Those hours were usually at dawn, which I didn’t mind as they let me admire the stars and get plenty of time to myself. I would sneak to the roof and smoke a blunt, listen to some hip hop, and stare at the stars. My grandparents would often joke that my father was actually a vampire who had seduced my mom as a teenager.
“Morning, Pita. I just want to make sure the old timers are fully up to recognize me and the alzheimer’s hadn’t made you forget me yet,” I fired back playfully.
“Well maybe it will settle in soon enough to help me forget who I’m cooking this birthday breakfast for.”
“No! I’m sorry.” Pancakes and sausage was my favorite, and everyone knows no one cooks better than your grandma.
“That’s what I thought. Are you excited to signed the papers to the house today?”
“I can’t wait!”
‘The house’ was my mom’s house that she left me as her only child. After all the legal settlements were completed I was left enough money to completely buy off the house. It was also agreed that the remaining money would stay in a trust fund, along with the deed to the house, that I would receive on my 18th birthday. Thanks to some persuasion on my part I managed to talk the bank into giving me the keys a month early to begin cleaning the place up and move my things into the house.
It was a bi-level home that had a finished basement with two rooms, three bathrooms, a garage, and a new kitchen. The back contained a bi-level deck that started at the sliding door in the kitchen and a massive backyard. In all honesty the house was too big for two people, but my mom insisted it was her dream home. It was also conveniently within a couple blocks of my grandparents home, our only family. I slept in the finished basement that contained one room and a bathroom along with the living room. My mom slept upstairs in the master suite, which contained a personal bathroom. I had decided to take over the master suite after moving all my mom’s belongings to a storage unit. I was exactly sure what I was storing them for. My grandma snapped me out my train of thought.
“Angel!”
“Huh?!”
“I said go see Papa in the back. He wanted to talk to you.”
“Yeah, no problem.” I stated as I began to leave the kitchen out the back door.
“By the way,” she said as I was walking past her. “Happy Birthday. My little Angel is all grown up.” She said while she hugged me, which I returned. She then pulled me down to give me a kiss on the cheek and told me breakfast would be ready in 10 minutes.
I walked out the back door to see my grandpa sitting on the bench next to the garage drinking his coffee and staring out into nothingness. As I approached him he stated, “Feliz Cumpleaños, Ángel.” (Happy Birthday, Angel.)
“Gracias, Papa. What’s up?” (Thank you, Papa.)
“I have your birthday present ready.” He said as he got up and began to open the garage. Sitting in the garage was the black 98’ Chevy Monte Carlo he brought when I was 10 years old and promised to give me when I became a man. It wasn’t exactly my dream car but shit the man who raised me was giving me my first car, I was beyond excited.
“You have finally reached adulthood. You are a responsible young adult who knows what it means to be a man.” He stated this as he handed me the keys and pulled me in for a hug.
“Everything I know about being a man comes from you. Thank you for helping me through these last couple of years.”
“No, tu tienes un corazon oro y tu tienes un gran mente. You are a good person who will do good in this world. We all experienced a deep sadness when we lost your mom, pero we all got through it and now there is nothing on this planet that could hurt us.” (No, you have a heart of gold and you have a great mind. pero = but)
“Thank you,” I said while holding back a tear.
“¡Desayuno!” My grandma called from the kitchen window. We each pulled ourselves together quietly and began walking to the house.
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After breakfast I left to the bank to sign the last paper. My lawyer, who was paid off through settlement money, was present and congratulated me for completing the last step in the process and we went our separate ways.
I shot a text to my closes friends and told them their would be a housewarming/birthday party at the house later that night. They all replied within minutes and the night was set.
What a night it would be.
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After dinner with my grandparents that night I stopped by the local corner store, fully enjoying my car, where my employee discount helped me pay for the preparations for the night. I decided it would be a bonfire in the fire pit that was in the far corner of the backyard. This led to a couple bottle of lighter fluid, some 12 packs of soda, a cooler, and ice. I don’t really have a taste for liquor, but I knew that Alex would text me later and let me know he was bring some along with some bud, even though few of us drank and only he and I smoked.
As I was setting the backyard I heard a familiar voice call out from the front of the house.
“Yo! You home?”
“Yeah. I’m in the back, walk around.” I called over my shoulder as I finished setting the branches in the pit. I turned to see my best friend, Aaron, enter the gate in the fence on the side of the house. Aaron was black and stood at 5’6” with an average build. He had been my best friend since 4th grade and we had stayed best friends through high school.
We began to talk and kill time as we waited for the rest of the gang to show.
“Yo, did you invite Jasmine?” Avrey asked as he grabbed a soda and sat back in his chair.
Jasmine was a member of the group who I had been crushing on for as long as I could remember. When I finally told her my true feelings she just started cry and said she couldn’t do it and she wanted to stay as just friends. We had barely spoken since that night. “Yeah, I want her to know that I’m really trying to stay friends, at least.”
“Well you know she is probably going to bring her new boyfriend, right?”
“What?!”
“Oh thats right, you missed Amber’s party. Yeah, she has a boyfriend. His name’s George.”
“Damn, man. I still don’t know why she rejected me. I guess if she’s happy, I’m happy.”
“I don’t know about that man, he seems pretty controlling. At the party he left to use the bathroom and we started talking about the party and he got real mad and they left early.”
“Well there’s gotta be some reason she’s with him. I’m not going to try and compete with this guy.”
“Alright. I think I heard someone pull up.”
A few seconds later I saw my friends John and Alice walk through the gate door. They had become a couple in the last year and had been doing everything together before she left for college and he left for basic training. John was mixed and stood about 5’5” with an athletic build due to all the sports he played. Alice was brown skinned and had massive tits. According to John, her bra was a 36DD. Before they started dating the guys in the group would often get caught looking a second too long.
They came and said hello and we all began talking about our summers when the final five began to show up. First was Alex who brought out friends Brianna and Victor. They often traveled together as the group who spent the most time partying. Victor was slightly darker skinned than Alice and was slightly on the heavy side. He often had gay tendencies so everyone had their suspicions he might be bi, he had a few girlfriends so he wasn’t gay. Brianna was the white girl of the group who insisted we call her Bri. Her tits were a little over a C cup, coupled with a nice bubble butt. Bri and Alex had on and off relationships for years but according to Alex they had decided to stay friends with benefits. Alex looked like a typical Mexican to be completely honest. His hair was always spiked, though it seemed to work for him, he had a pierced eyebrow, and he was always high or drunk. He was my second closest friend next to Aaron. Victor said hey as Brianna kissed me on the cheek and said Happy Birthday.
Alex was the last to say what’s up as he handed me a blunt, “Happy Physical my dude.”
“Thanks, you ain’t have to bring me anything.”
“Aye, you need to relax today. By the way, where the speakers at.”
“Naw, you not the DJ today. I let you bump that bullshit rap any other day, but on my birthday its real music.”
“Man, you just a hater. Nothing wrong with a little trap music.”
“Yeah, bullshit. I’m playing something that uses actual lyrical talent.” I proceeded to plug my phone into the portable speaker and put the shuffle on.
“Yeah yeah. You finally planning on losing that card today? You can’t wait forever.”
So I was still a virgin, though they all knew it was purely by choice. I mean I wasn’t rolling in pussy or anything but I could have lost it a long time ago. I guess I was born more of a romantic. I’m not a dude to get into a relationship for sex, and I always think too far ahead that I talk myself out of sweet talking a girl for sex.
“Man you know me, I’ll lose it when I know its right.”
“Man, you take longer to drop your pants than most girl.”
“That’s just the hoes you talk to.”
“It still feels good though.”
“How does the burning feel on your balls?”
“Whatever man.”
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The last two guest we Jasmine and George, showing up about 10 minutes later. As they walked in Jasmine was struggling to keep up as George seemed to be dragging her with his arm around her shoulders. I already didn’t like the guy.
Jasmine looked amazing as always with her long, curly hair falling freely around her face framing it perfectly. She was wearing a leather jacket with a tank top underneath that showed some cleavage from her B sized breast. Even though she only stood at 5’4” she had sexy, long legs that looked great in her tight jeans. I already knew her small bubble butt looked great from the other side. It also must have been a special occasion to her as she was wearing makeup, which she usually didn’t do as she preferred her natural look even though she was kinda pale for a Latina. Her boyfriend looked like he was Mexican and stood at about 5’7”, and was dressed in skinny jeans, didn’t know that was her type, and an American flag tank top. He also had a snapback hat hanging from one of his belt loops and confirmed my suspicion that he was an absolute douche bag. Jasmine was the one to speak as they got closer
“Hey guys!” she said in her cute bubbly voice that momentarily sent butterflies through my stomach. The tool that hung at her waist only communicated with a head nod.
Everyone replied their greetings and the two took their seat. I had only set up enough chairs for the people I invited so we would be one short.
“Sorry, I didn’t know there would be two of you. There are a couple extra chairs by the fence over there.” I stated as I pointed to the other side of the yard about 20 yards away.
“Its no problem,” George stated as he sat in the only empty seat. Is this asshole serious right now? She looked at him for a minute and then moved to go get her own chair.
I got up and grabbed my chair and handed it to her. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll go grab one.” I said with a slight smile. She looked at me for a second before taking the chair with a Thank You and sitting next to the asshole who passed for a human.
I came back to an awkwardly silent circle and reclaimed my spot in the circle in between Alex and Aaron. The circle was set up so Alex was on me left, with Bri right next to him, and Victor on the other side of her. John and Alice were sitting across from me, the douche rag was sat next to Alice, though there was a nice gap between the two, with Jasmine on his left, and Aaron completed the circle. I got the awkward moment to pass by lighting the fire and turning up the music slightly louder. This got everyone to start talking a little save for the very obvious elephant in the room that sat slightly away. I had to address him, just to relieve some tension.
“So umm, I don’t think we’ve met.” I said speaking to George. “I’m Angel, good to meet you.”
“I’m George.” he said barely glancing in my direction. This guy is going to thin my patience quickly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” I said to try and give him a second chance to be less of an asshole.
“I said I’m George.” he repeated as he actually took the time to look in my eyes. What does she see in this douche?
“Oh by the way, I forgot to say Happy Birthday to you earlier Angel,” Jasmine stepped in obviously seeing the immediate friction.
“Thank you.” I said taking my glare off her boyfriend and turning to her with a softer expression.
“I but you if feels good to be back in this house after two years, right?” she said with her cheery attitude which made me forget the conversation from moments ago.
“Its kinda bitter sweet. We didn’t have too many memories in this house, so its not depressing, but there are of course still memories that bring back some pain.”
Jasmine and I began to talk about the house and how it still looked good even after two years with no occupants to tend to it. George started to show slight interest in our conversation, but from what Aaron told me earlier, I assumed it was more for me talking to his girlfriend.
“Can I use your bathroom?” George stated randomly during our conversation.
“Yeah. Here I’ll show you where it is.”
“Well if Jas’ knows her way around I’d rather have her show me.” I thought she hates to be called Jas.
“Um, yeah sure go ahead.” He grabbed Jasmine by the hand, got up, and walked with her to the house much the same way as they had entered.
“This guy is the biggest asshole I’ve ever met!” Alice stated once they were out of earshot, to which everyone agreed with.
“Angel, why haven’t you laid him out yet? I’ve seen you get heated over less than this before.” Aaron added turning to me.
“I told you, I’m not going to compete with him. Besides if I just cause a fight I’ll look like a bigger douche in her eyes.”
“Shit, I might kick his ass myself.” Alex added as he took a sip of his drink. I assumed it was mixed.
“Yup.”, “Yeah.”, “I’m with you.” John, Victor, and Aaron agreed with this idea. Even though I was the one who had the crush, she was part of the group and often treated like a beloved little sister.
“Guys, she knows what she’s doing. Maybe he’s just not good with people, I don’t know, but she is too smart to date a guy like him without some greater reason.”
“She should have just gone out with you. You guys were made for each other.” Bri added while throwing me a meaningful glance. If our life was a TV show, Jasmine and I were definitely the couple everyone hoped would end up together.
“Well she didn’t, and I’m not going to try and sabotage her relationship with this guy.”
“I was just saying.” Bri added defeated.
“Yeah, well they’re coming back. Let’s all drop it.”
They walked back up in the same style they had left. I looked to Jasmine to continue our earlier conversation but she was just staring into the fire. As I glanced at her face I noticed her eyeliner had smeared a bit but chalked it up to the heat from the fire as the same was happening to Bri and Alice.
As I looked down at my phone to respond to birthday posts on my wall I noticed the the next song in rotation was You Never Know by Immortal Technique. The song wasn’t exactly a party song, nor was it a fun song to play when the girl who rejected you is in the area. In the song he details about how he met the first, and only love of his life, just to have her reject him when he spoke his true feelings. When he gets out of prison a year later, for unrelated events, he decides he needs closure on the situation. Her mom gives him a letter that she wrote which stated they she also loved him, but she add contracted HIV during an operation years earlier and didn’t want him to suffer as she did. While the second part of the song was unrelatable, the first part was spot on. It was actually the song I used to get over the rejection.
I thought for a second and decided I would let it play, at least through the first two verses, and act like I was too busy on Facebook to notice. Aaron began to talk to me at the beginning of the second verse so I turned to him, still pretending to be oblivious to the song. As the part about rejection in the verse neared I took a side glance at Jasmine to see how she reacted. I was pleasantly surprised to find out she was doing the same and our eyes met for only a moment, but in that moment I saw a slightly sad part of her that let me know there was more going on here. I continued to talk to Aaron while picking that thought apart in the back of my mind.
The gather continued like this for a few more hours till it was about midnight. During that time the group had successfully, after failing at first, gotten Jasmine back into the conversation, but, while Jasmine was willing to begin talking again, you could have swore George was mute. He only seemed interested when one of the guys was talking to her for what he considered too long. The guys learned to ignore his looks, well most of them. I would often catch Alex staring at him just as hard.
I decided I needed to relax a little and pulled out the blunt that Alex had given me earlier, which I had kept stored behind my ear. After I checked the rolling to make sure it hadn’t come undone, I put it to my lips and lit it. I took a few drags and sat back waiting for the high, Alex always knew how to get the good shit. I felt a tap on my left arm and handed the blunt to Alex without needing to confirm that it was what he wanted. After he took a few puffs he offered it to everyone in the circle, although none of them ever smoked with us before we made it a habit to ask them just incase. After offering to George, who thankfully just shook his head, he offered it to Jasmine who looked at it for a moment before extending her arm. Everyone in the circle, besides you can guess who, was a little shocked. Jasmine was known to be a bit of a drinker but she had never tried to smoke with us.
She looked held it for a moment before turning to me and asking “How do I do it?”
I couldn’t help but smile at her innocence. “Just put it to your lips and inhale with you lungs. Don’t try to forcefully suck it or you’ll get a mouthful of smoke.” Get those dirty thoughts out your mind. That hasn’t come yet.
“Like this?” She put it to her lips and about halfway through her first drag she started to cough up a storm.
“Are you okay? Don’t worry, everyone coughs at first. It’s not natural to take smoke into your lungs.” I said as she handed the blunt to Aaron to hand to me.
We continued this awkward triangle until only the roach was left, which Alex insisted I finish off myself. By this time Angel had become a little more touchy with Bri, while Jasmine and I found ourselves dividing our eyes from between the fire and each other. George must have seen this as he put his arm over her shoulder and positioned it in a way where we could make eye contact without making it painfully obvious.After about five minutes of this he got up and stated that he had to use the bathroom again. After grabbing Jasmine’s arm and almost dragging her out of the chair, he began to make his way towards my house.
“I really hate this guy and the way he treats her.” Aaron was the first to address the situation, speaking more to me than the group who all agreed.
“I know I hate it too, but what I can’t just say ‘Hey you should dump this asshole!’ How would that sound coming from the guy she rejected.” I said trying to hide the anger in my voice.
“Well say something. I can’t watch that all night.” Alice said daring me to make eye contact.
“Look, I’ll go in there and make sure everythings okay and he doesn’t think I’m trying to take her from him.”
“You want me to go as some back up?” John added as he began to get up.
“Yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.” I said as I got up from my chair and began to make my way to the house.
As we walked up the stairs of the deck to the glass doors on the second floor we heard George yelling and what sounded like Jasmine crying. Now I was mad. I ran up the steps and opened the sliding door in time to see George’s hand come down on her head, just above her ear where her hair was. It would hurt her but not leave a mark.
I exploded.
I ran forward and though a punch aimed at his chin, which sent him reeling back a couple steps. John had ran to the balcony and called for the others to come quick before running to Jasmine who had fallen to her knees crying as me and George looked at each other and I saw a deer in the headlights. George was fast to regain his composure and being farther away, as my hit had knocked him back some, he began to run to the front door. I chased after him and caught him a few steps outside my front door thanks to him having to unlock it. I tackled him to the ground with a hit that would make the NFL look like a bunch of pussies. I got ontop of him and began to rain down punches with both fist. I must have landed a good 9 solidly on his face without his arms blocking before Alex, Aaron, John, and Victor rushed over to pull me off.
George used this time to pull himself together and run to his car. As the guys held me back I made sure to let him know that if I ever saw him again it would end a lot worse. I wasn’t let go until after his car zoomed off and rounded a corner. I made sure to note his red Camry for future reference.
The two girls made their way to the front to ask what happened, but John promised he would explain later and asked them to check on Jasmine. They agreed and proceeded to head back into the house as we all sat on the front step in silence. I can’t believe this. Why!? Why was she with someone like him? Why did she reject me to be with him? Does she really just not like me? No, there was something there when we made eye contact. Not just tonight, every time we made eye contact. For a long time now I felt like there was something there, but she choose him over me?
I was driving myself crazy trying to answer these questions. I decided I would ask her myself, in private. I got up and walked around back with the guys close behind me. When they saw me begin to put things away they recognized that the party was over. After we cleaned up the back we began to walk back into the house to let the girls know the night was over. They were sitting on the couch, Bri and Alice were sitting on each side of Jasmine who had her head down.
“John, you think you can give Aaron a ride for me? I promised I’d do it but, you know.”
“Yeah, no problem man.”
“Thank you.” I then turned to Jasmine. “You can go with them if you’d like, or I’m sure Alex has room.”
“No, I want you to take me home.” she replied without lifting her head.
“Okay, only if you’re sure.”
Everyone began to walk towards the door where we all said our goodbyes and they gave me final birthday wishes. I stood at the door for a second and watched as everyone got in their respective cars and began to drive off. I closed the door but didn’t move, I wasn’t sure how to deal with the situation upstairs.
As I cam up the stairs I saw that Jasmine had not moved from her previous position. I sat down next to her and put my hands together, trying to think of what to say and how to say it. She had stopped crying and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing for me. Just as I was about to speak I heard her speak.
“I’m sorry for messing everything up.” She said in a tone so quiet that if any other noise was happening in the house I would have missed.
“What do you have to be sorry for? That jackass is the one that messed up the night yo-”
“No! I’m sorry that I told you no! I’m sorry I tried to pretend I didn’t have feelings for you! I’m sorry I dated that guy to get you out my mind! I’m sorry I let him treat me like that, but thats the way I thought I deserved to be treated after lying to myself. I-”
“Don’t EVER say you deserve to be treated like that again! No woman deserves to be treated like that, especially you! Yeah, I was lost and confused when you turned me down, but not once did I ever wish something bad to happen to you. I’ve been in love with you for years now.” I gently listen her head and in pained me as I saw her beautiful eyes red and puffy from crying. “Jasmine, I love you. I truly do. When my mom passed I was a depressed wreck but you and the group helped me through it. You always had that beautiful smile on your face, that cheery tone of voice, and that look of compassion in your eyes that said you cared. When you turned me down I just wished that you would find someone on this planet that made you happier than I could.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She always felt so right in my arms.
“You don’t have to explain yourself now, or ever, but you need to know that rather I’m your boyfriend, just a friend, or even if you hate me, I will always be there for you.”
She pulled away from me slightly and our eyes met again in a deeper bond than anything I ever experienced. She moved her face up slowly and I lowered mine enough for our lips to meet in perfect bliss. We only held them there for a moment with slight pressure, then pulled away. When I looked in her eyes I could tell she felt it too. We kissed again but this time it was more passionate, we wanted each other. She put her arms on either side of my shoulder to lock me in place while I rested my hands on her waist. She shifted positions and now she sat on top of my lap forcing me to kiss up to her as her messy hairy veiled our faces.
The excitement of the moment, and passion of our mouths, was definitely having an effect on my friend downstairs. I could tell Jasmine was having the same feeling as she started to slowly grind on my crotch. We paused for a second for a meaningful glance that said we both knew what came next. She got off of me for a split second before I scooped her in my arms and carried her to my room as she sucked on my neck.
When we got in my room I laid her down on the bed and stood up to start stripping off my cloths. I started with both our shoes and socks, ‘cause well its weird to have socks on during sex. I stood up to take my shirt on as I saw her eyes stare at my slightly muscular chest, before she got a pained look in her eye as they rested on a certain spot. I knew what she was staring at. I became a little self-conscious before she leaned forward and kissed gently down the scar on my torso while taking off her jacket. I leaned forward and began sucking on her neck while I began to pull off her top, stopping my assault on her neck on long enough to get the article of clothing over her head. After that I felt her small hands start undoing the button on my shorts before I felt them drop to my ankles. I did the same to her jeans but had to stop kissing her in order to get the tight jeans all the way off.
As I stepped out of my shorts I took a second to look at the girl I loved laying in her bra and panties, which were both black lace with little bows on the straps of the bra and sides of the panties, on my bed waiting to exchange virginities. I laid back down to kiss her but she switched positions and showed she wanted to be on top right now. She began to lick and suck my neck as I undid her bra strap and she sat up to reveal her beautiful naked breasts to me for the first time. I leaned forward to kiss along her chest and breast, which were very warm with the hit of our passion, always making sure I never touched her nipple until I was ready. Then I lightly flicked her nipple with my tongue, earning a sexy moan from her lips. I would continue light licking at one while messaging the other with my hands and rotating between the two.
After two minutes of this treatment she pulled my head away and looked me in the eyes telling me she was tired of the foreplay, she wanted the main event. I wanted to be on top for this so I proceeded to turn her onto her back as I got up and pulled down my boxers to be completely naked in front of her. I heard a small gasp from her lips as her eye rested on my member. I’m about 6” hard but I think it looked more to her being the only she had ever saw. I then slowly took her panties off as she parted her legs slightly to make it easier. As I revealed her womanhood I could see that her lips were slightly puffy and shiny do to her excitement. I would get a better view later but right now I had something I had to do. I grabbed a condom from the drawer of my nightstand and rolled it on.
I moved up and positioned myself above her body while lightly pressing my member to her entrance. I looked it in her eyes to confirm that this is what she wanted and she slowly nodded her head while biting her bottom lip. I slowly slide my member into her which was accompanied by a slight gasp moan from her lips. I stopped when I reached the hymen. I took each of her hands in mine as I applied enough force to pop her cherry. I saw a slight tear in her eye and I leaned down to kiss her as a way to take her mind off the pain. After about a minute she told me to keep going. I began to slowly push myself inside her using my hips and abs to allow our pelvises to meet.
She felt amazing as I slide in her velvety walls and allowed myself to be overcome with passion as I started to thrust just a little faster. Jasmine was know moaning at a constant rate and she sucked on my neck. I reached a hand back to find her clit, wanting to give her as much pleasure as possible. My treasure hunt was rewarded with a loud moan from her sexy lips as I applied pressure. We kept this pace up for several minutes before I felt her walls tighten up around me and when they were accompanied by louder moans I knew I knew I had successfully given her an orgasm. I kept my pace up through her climax as I was also close to mine.
After she came down from her first climax it would be several more minutes until I felt the feeling of her walls clamp back down, this time it would be too much for me to endure. I grunted under my breath as I filled the condom up with my seed while her spasming pussy milked me dry. I layed on top of her for a minute before rolling to my back to catch my breath.
“That. Was. Amazing.” was the only thing I could force out between breaths.
“Mmmm” was the response as Jasmine cuddled into me and rested her head on my right bicep.
After about a minute the air had returned to my longs and I could feel her breathing lightly against my chest.
“I love you Jasmine.”
“I love you too. I always have and always will.” were the last things she said before she drifted off to sleep.
I looked at the clock to see that it was about 2:30 and I suddenly realized that I was actually very tired. I kissed Jasmine of the forehead before I drifted off to sleep earlier than 5 for the first time in a very long time.
