It was Wednesday when I saw Nate again. He looked like he was in a good mood. I debated talking to him, but I decided against it. I didn’t want his friends to ask questions. I went about my business at my locker. I was about ready to head to class wen Nate approached me.

“Hey” he said quietly.

“Hi.” I said kind of confused.

“What are you doing Friday night?” He asked even more quiet. He was almost whispering.

“I was planning on hanging out with Lex and Dani. Why?” I replied.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over after the game.” He said kind of embarrassed.

“I could see if they want to go to the game but I doubt it.” I said with a little too much enthusiasm.

“That’s cool. If not, maybe on Saturday?” He said.

“Definitely!” I said. I wasn’t sure if it was a date or not. He asked me to come over but I don’t know if we’re friends or not. I had lunch with Lex and Dani that day, so I asked them then.

“Hey, do you guys want to go to the game on Friday night?” I asked.

“Umm no.” Dani said quickly. “I don’t want to see Jackson or Matt.”

“Ok then.” I said and went back to eating.

“Why do you want to go? You never want to go to sporting events other than your own” Lex said.

“No reason really.” I said while eating my sandwich.

“You’re lying.” Dani pointed out. My eyes get weird when I’m lying and only Lex and Dank knew it.

“No.” I lied once again.

“Spill it.” Dani said.

“Fine. Nate came up to me at my locker and asked if I wanted to come over after the game. I told him I was hanging out with you guys and would see if you wanted to come.” I started.

“So you’re going to ditch us for a guy?” Lex said getting angry.

“No, not at all. He understood that you guys probably wouldn’t want to go, so he asked if I could come over on Saturday instead.” I explained. They seemed pretty calm. I was very very wrong.

“Are you guys like a thing?” Dani asked.

“What happened on Saturday?” Lex asked. They asked about twenty more questions.

“No. We aren’t a thing. I don’t even know if we’re friends. Nothing happened. He stayed, made sure I was ok, showered, then left.” I left out the part about breakfast.

“What ever you say.” Lex said.

“If you don’t want to tell us what really happened, then don’t. But don’t come to us for help when your knocked up.” Dani said.

“I’m not lying.” I said starting to feel bad.

“Okay.” Dani finished. The bell rang and we were off to class. Once school was out on Friday, we all met up and went to the mall. I needed new bras so I went to Victoria’s Secret and bought a few new bras and matching panties. I have a thing for matching. We went back to Dani’s and chilled for a while. We watched movies and eventually we fell asleep.

I dreamt about Nate and how good he looked and his breakfast. He was perfect. I woke up after Lex and Dani. We went to the diner and got breakfast. They asked about my plans for the night.

“What are you and Nate going to do?” Lex said with a smirk.

“Nothing. As I said, i don’t even know if we’re friends.” I said.

“If something happens, you’ll tell us right.” Dani asked trying to assure herself. “I don’t want a repeat of Marcus.”

“Let’s not talk about it.” Lex said.

“Yes I’ll tell you guys.” I said. We paid and all went our separate ways. Nate said I could come over around 6, so I went home and watch tv for a while. I watched some stupid reality shows. It was like 4 o’clock when I decided to start getting ready. I made myself some pasta with sauce and ate rather quickly for me. Then I went upstairs and showered. I made sure to shave EVERYTHING. I washed up using my favorite shower gel. Endless Weekend from Bath and Body Works. I washed my face using my acne wash too. I wanted to make sure I looked good. It was 5:15 when I dried off and finished my hair. I put on one of the new bras and panties I got. They were matching blue lace. I wore a blue spaghetti strap tank top to match and black jean shorts. I also wore my black cardigan so I didn’t look too slutty. I got in my car at 5:50 and was off.

I was nervous. I know I shouldn’t have been, but I was. I really liked him and I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen. I got to his house and did one final check of my make up. I walked up to the door and knocked. His little brother answered.

“Hi?” He said.

“Hi. Is umm Nate here?” I asked awkwardly.

“Oh so you’re Jess?” He said. “Nate hasn’t stopped talking about you.” I kind of blushed at that. “I’ll go get him.”

I stood awkwardly in the doorway. A few minutes later, Nate came down.

“Hey come on in!” He said leading me in. “My parents are taking Zach out for a surprise in a few.” He whispered.

“Oh?” I said.

“We’ll be alone for a couple hours, if that’s ok with you.” He said, catching himself.

“Yeah, that’s cool.” I said. I was now freaking out. We were going to be alone in his house, for a few hours. At least I was prepared.

“We’ll have to hang out down here until they leave.” He said and invited me to sit next to him on the couch. I took a seat and we watched a movie until his parents left. They left us money for pizza.

“Do you want pizza? Or do you want me to cook something for you?” He said.

“Umm it doesn’t matter to me. Do you want to cook?” I asked.

“Can I?”

“Hell yeah. If this meal is anywhere near as good as breakfast the other day, i might never leave.” I said jokingly. He pocketed the money and started cooking. He made a delicious chicken dinner. We had chicken breasts with pasta and broccoli.

“This is absolutely delicious.” I said. “I really wished you cooked more often.”

“Well, i don’t want my friends to think of me as a freak.” He said with a tone of sadness.

“They won’t if they’re truly your friends.” I tried to be supportive. I’m not very good at it.

“I don’t think they will understand though.” He said.

“I do. And we’re friends right?” I asked.

“Yeah”

“See, theres a start. Already 1 friend who understands.” I said smiling.

“Good.” He smiled back. We finished the food and kept talking. We talked for what felt like hours. It was great. I had never been able to talk with anyone like I had with him.

“Alright. I want to hear one of your secrets.” He said suddenly. I was surprised. “I told you one of mine. I want to hear one of yours.”

“I don’t have any secrets.” I said.

“That’s bull and you know it.” He said with a big smile.

“Fine. Don’t make fun though.” I said.

“I won’t. I promise” he got all serious.

“I’ve never kissed anyone.” I admitted. I was really embarrassed. How many juniors have never kissed anyone?

“You’re lying.” He said laughing.

“You said you wouldn’t make fun.” I started to tear up.

“I’m not making fun. That’s just funny.” He said.

“Why is that funny?” I was getting angry.

“Because you’re just so you.” He was giggling.

“What does that mean?” I was really angry now.

“You’re so good.” He got serious again. “I’ve known you since 6th grade, and I’ve never seen you be rude, or mean to anyone. Even someone picking on you.” I was speechless. I wiped the tears from my face.

“You’ve noticed me?” I asked.

“How could I not? You don’t blend in. You’re different. People notice you.” He said. I didn’t have anything to say. I sat there looking at his beautiful brown eyes. “You’re so outgoing and weird and you embrace it. You’re perfect.” He leaned closer and wrapped his arm around me. I could smell his axe cologne. He was irresistible. I looked up into his eyes and he looked back. Next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. His soft lips pressing themselves against mine. I wanted him for so long to kiss me, and now that it was happening, I couldn’t believe it. He pulled away for a second and looked at me with sorrow.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” He replied with a small smile. He kissed me again with more force. I could feel his tongue trying to get into my mouth. I let his tongue explore my mouth and I explored his mouth with my tongue too. It was getting hotter. Our bodies got closer and soon I started to want more. We kissed for a little longer and then he pulled away.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” He said. He moved back to his original spot on the couch.

“Why not? I liked it.” I said. I moved closer towards him and he moved away. “What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t have been your first kiss. I shouldn’t be with you. I don’t deserve you.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’m nothing. Im never going to be anything.” He said. “Thank you for coming over. I think you should leave now.” He got up and ran up the stairs. I started to walk up the stairs, but I decided to give him space and I left.

What was going on with him? Is he crazy? Does he just have really low self-esteem? I was determined to find out.

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